I Dare you to Tell me
by MapleLeafPianist
Summary: AU Hetalia. What is a place like this supposed to be? Taking memories, and twisting them all up into a different images... I'm confused. Is there something that I need to unlock? Or is it all just part of me? Becoming who I was meant to be... It's harder than I could ever think. SpainxFem!Romano Human names used.
1. Well, obviously

_**"I Dare you To Tell me":**_** A Story of strange mishaps and Misconceptions**. 'The International School for the Talented Arts is what they call it. I don't know why they would need to anyways. It seems like they completely flipped the place around. We're not here for showing off our skill anymore... then what is it? I just don't know. They've taken my heart, shred it to pieces, and gave it back like nothing. They've taken my mind and twisted it around. Who am I?

((**This chapter has been revised slightly for more understanding ))**

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><p>My nervous hands gripped the cold handle of the suitcase. "Sorella. Are you ready?" I asked, trying to cover up the wavering sound in my normally harsh voice. I could hear her faint mumble. Maybe she had waken up from a nap, just as I had. No memories were stationed in my mind at the moment. Right. We were accepted to this school. The damned orphanage couldn't wait to get rid of us. Those Jerks...<p>

"Lovina! Are you okay? Lovina?" A sweet voice was prodding at me. My sister's.

"U-Uh. I'm fine... Let's just get our room number and go." I trailed off. I'm so stupid! I sound like a stumbling idiot. My feet were just as bad. Piled of snow layered up to my ankles. Ankles that were covered by thin stockings. I shuddered and snuggled into my scarf. Mmm... The small amount of warmth it gave me. It felt all the more welcoming and joyful. I jerked my suitcase along the snowy stone path. A lady turned around from her conversation. Wavy brown hair swayed beside white earmuffs.

"Hello. Welcome to the school. I'm Elizaveta, from Hungary. Also the Vice President. Let me give you your room number...It's quite cold out here, isn't it." She said. Her voice was firm, but was drenched in sugar. Like she had a rough but sweet personality. I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh. Hi. I'm Lovina Vargas. My sister is Felicia Vargas. We come from Italy." I said. I have to stay cautious. It's a strange school with strange people. I have to remind myself that.

"A Pleasure to meet you. Now 'Vargas'..." She answered, flipping through a small packet of papers. "Lovina, you have room 202. And Felicia, you have room 208. You have to go up to the second floor. Don't worry. There's people to help with your luggage. And down the hall to the right." A bright smile marked her face.

"Thank you Elizaveta!" My ever-so-cheery sister exclaimed, dragging me along to the beautiful building. The design was marvelous to say the least. And there must've been at least six floors. People looked around. People looked at each other. People looked at us. My nervousness hyped up, making me cower at the sharp blue eyes of a blond man who raised his eyebrows at us.

"Do you need any help?" He said, watching Felicia try to drag her suitcase up the stairs.

"No Shit, Sherlock." I mumbled, but immediately cringed when i saw the piercing eyes again. "J-just help her. I can take my own things upstairs." I stuttered again. Just how stupid am I! I have this bad habit... Of making myself look weak.

I pouted. Lifting up the heavy suitcase, I trudged my way upstairs. The steps were lined with strange markings and symbols. But it was rather magnificent. It just so happened that I was seen looking at the floor than ahead to where I was going. But who cares. It's not like I'm the only one who has seen the beauty.  
>It's a pretty weird school. A school that starts In November. It has no protection against the snow and has a very old design. And what's this about majors? Especially if its for music and stuff. I mean, i like to sing. It's fun and whatever. But having a whole day dedicated to that? I doubt that that's what I'm really here for- what ALL of us are really here for. There's something going on and it's super specially weird. Weird, I tell you. But It's not like anyone's listening.<p>

"Because its all in my head."

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><p>Thank you for reading! Please review if you want to. Just a short and sweet opening, right? I hope you enjoyed this chapter.<p> 


	2. Enter: Maddie

So here is my second chapter to this story. I hope you like it! And if you didn't/don't then care to provide some good criticism? Thank you!

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><p>I neared to top of the stairs, pausing when a thought came to mind. When was I accepted again? I'm starting to forget. I had two best friends a week ago. What were their names again? I'm forgetful. But it's not like me to forget this easily. I put a hand on my head. Am I losing it already? What the fuck is going on. I can't remember… I looked at the tag on my own suitcase. Lovina Vargas. Yup. That's my name. Hell, I've known my name since the beginning.<p>

"Alright. I entered the school a few minutes ago. I rode in a….taxi? Or was it a school bus?" Minus one. "And I stepped through the gate. The snow went up to my ankles. Felicia brought me to a girl. Her name is Elizaveta. So I know Elizaveta better than my old friends? I don't get it." I argued with myself. A throbbing pain echoed and bounced in my head. Another question burned at me. What the hell was my room number, again? I saw that blonde freak set down the suitcase beside me, my sister barreling to give him a hu-

To give him a HUG?

I turned around, not liking what I saw. "What the Hell, Feli!" I said, my eye twitching when she insisted on that tackle/hug. I winced in pain as the throbbing yet continued. I watched the awkward and uncomfortable man tip his hat and say 'you're welcome' before going back down the stairs. Felicia bounded up to me. Yeah. Why not add salt to the wounds and rub it in.

"Lovina, he was so nice! Polite too! Did you see that, he tipped his hat at me!" She went on. And On. And….On.

Well, obviously, this needed to end somewhere. "How bout you go say hi to your new roommates?" I insisted, desperate that she left my headache and me alone. My eager sister nodded her head, latching onto her suitcase and heading down the hall. "She went to the right. So mine is there too." I said, remembering a fraction of our conversation. I tapped my foot anxiously. "Room…202? Right. That's it…" I concluded, taking my scarf off and bringing my things with me. The walls were made of stone, yet it was so nice and warm in here. It all looked like a tower in which we were trapped in. But Damn. I'm here anyways. So to hell with it.

I continued down, taking note of the lovely sculptures that lined the hall. Not to mention the fake candle glow. It was probably just a light bulb in candle wax. Some were even dressed as oil lamps. I peered into it. And what did I get? Singed hair. Yup, that shit was real. I sneered, leaning back and continuing down.

Some people waved hi. Others verbally said it. What friendly people. Though it just makes my inner mind to want to be even more cautious. I'll just have to pay no mind to it. Men dressed in the uniform for them, bluish pants passed by, muttering obscene things under their breath at me. "Fuck off." I told them, raising my chin and walking down further. The shadows danced on the walls, intimidating me with my own. Surely, the shadows don't come to life when we sleep. It's just an old tale that my caretaker liked to tell us. But it was Damn scary going to sleep when I was five.

I leaned further and further away from the shapes on the wall. It might just be the only thing that I feared.

"O-ow!" Came a very high squeak in front of me.

"Oh I'm so sorry! Sorry." I said, looking down to see a blonde haired girl with a white hat stationed on her head. "I didn't see you there. Sorry." I added nervously. The girl had violet-ish blue eyes and she looked so timid. Much like a mouse. But she was fragile looking.

"Oh no. It's my own fault. I've been standing here trying to open my door. This darn key gets stuck all the time. I'm having a bit of trouble with it." She said, her gloved hands fumbling with a small key.

"U-Um, let me help." I said, flipping the key around and opening the door.

"Wh-what! It was upside down? It's not like that over in Canada…" She said, going through the door frame. "Well thank you. What's your room number? You've been very kind to me." She said, smiling genuinely at me.

"Oh. Uh. I'm in room 202." I said, folding my scarf nervously. The small girl laughed a bit. More like a twinkling sound.

"That's nice. But this is room 202, eh."

I blinked a few times. "Oh."

Yeah. Real nice, Lovina. You've made yourself look like an Idiot more times than you can count. 'Oh.' Is that the best response you can make up?

Well yeah. Maybe it is. Got a problem with that?

Stop being a bitch.

You just called yourself a bitch.

Yeah, I did.

So how does that make you feel?

Really good. Now stop being an ass.

Me? You're fucked up.

Shut the hell up.

"Hello? Helloooooo." Someone said, waving a pale arm in font of my face.

"O-Oh. Sorry. Spaced out for a moment." I said, fixing my hair nervously. "A-Anyways. I'm Lovina Vargas. Nice to meet you." I said, nearly letting my accent lip again.

"Hello Lovina. My name is Maddie Williams. A pleasure." She said, shaking my hand. "I guess we'll be great friends." She said. Her voice was soft, more like a whisper to me.

I laughed nervously. "Absolutely."

Because, anyways, this is all like a play going on in my head. A show choir major and theatre minor like me would know. And the Script says

"Enter: Maddie"

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><p>Thank you for enduring this chapter of swear words. I hope it wasn't too bad. I love reviews! reviewers get cookies!<p> 


	3. It's my Fall

I'm sorry for not Updating! I have a crapload of work for school. ._. Sorry. Anyways, Here is the Third Chapter.

Warnings:

Strictly Religious people shouldn't read this unless you completely want to.

There is indeed child abuse in here ( I DO NOT APPROVE OF CHILD ABUSE. So don't bitch that I wrote about it, okay?) Because there is a somewhat happy ending.

Alright. That's it! Please Enjoy. Review if you want to~

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><p>Stepping into this room was like stepping into a room in a fucking castle. The walls were different, not stone anymore, but I couldn't pinpoint what it was. There was a crème colored illusion blocking the way. The paint on it swirled and tickled my eyes…If that could even be possible. "Well Damn." I said, taking it all in. Apparently, there were wooden steps to the upper bunk bed. How tall was the room? Twelve feet? Well, this place was tall. It's nearly me stacked on myself again. Gallant radiating oil lamps mimicked our figures on the walls. Cross swords hung on the ceiling, next to an electric chandelier. The chandelier wasn't big. But it wasn't small either. It was a perfect size. How large is this place? It makes me upset that I don't know a thing. I shuffled in my shoes. It's even so nice and warm. The covers on the beds were blue and soft looking. I wanted to jump on one and bury myself in it until I couldn't breathe. But being the supposedly mature person I am, I stood there and continued to furthermore look like an idiot. Two white dressers were lined up against the side of the walls. I walked up to my bunk and sat down, taking out my journal in a flash.<p>

_When you enter the door, there is a set of bunk beds to the right and left. They are vertical, facing the door, but against to walls. To the left of the door, before the bunk bed, there is a bathroom. It is simple, but looks like it can complete the room to look like an elegant beach or something. To the right of the door, before the bunk bed, there is a closet, the same size as the restroom. It is divided into four. One for each person, I guess. There are eight oil lamps. Each looks large. It'll take a while for them to run out of oil. They are evenly distributed along the wall, which looks nice cus the room is longer than it is wide. It's perfectly fitting. Past the bunk beds are two desks. Each has a pretty looking lantern to each side of it. It's still an ocean-y looking place. Crème walls and blue sheets. But then there is a white curtain. Maddie opened it. (Maddie is my room mate for the year or four, I think.) There is a balcony with equally beautiful design on the walls. It reminds me of the balconies in Italy. There are some Latin inscriptions on the white rails. It really is beautiful. But I told her to shut the door because it's snowing outside._

I finished, shutting the leather journal. Soft music blew in from the hallways. It sounded like a piano was playing in the lobby or something. I headed down the stairs in the room. It was nothing more than four steps, but still. They were steps. "When does first period start tomorrow?" I asked openly. I leaned in about the room. There was probably something secret the people hid. And I want to find it. I mean, who wouldn't, right?

"Um… Seven thirty." Maddie's soft, whisper like voice murmured to me. I nodded a thanks and shoved my room key into my pocket. Only a few people are accepted here…By why is the campus so freaking big? I can hardly make my way to the lobby without getting lost. But I'm a big girl. I managed to get my lazy ass down to see who was playing the music. Lo and Behold. Indeed, a person was playing the piano in the lobby. How did I pass that before? Did I just… get distracted? Oh well then. I lifted my foot, about to take the last step down before I found myself on the floor.

Pain reflected in my eyes and I probably muttered some curse words. I opened my groggy eyes. Green? When the hell did the ceiling turn green? "Oh. Are you okay?" A calm voice asked me. I lifted my arm and pushed the man aside.

"Jackass." I mumbled, getting up and rubbing my head angrily. It's not like he had heard me anyways, so why give a damn.

"Ah, But miss! Are you okay? I'm so sorry for hurting you! Let me take you to the nurse." He insisted, grabbing onto my elbow. I shrugged it off, a scowl already painted onto my pale face.

"Fuck off. I'm fine." I grumbled, starting to walk in the opposite direction. When I glanced back, he looked rather hurt that I refused his help. "I-I really am okay. But if you want to take me to the nurse, then fine. It'll be your fault if she gets pissed." I growled, walking back to the green eyes. They lit up again. Lit up…? Why am I paying attention to his eyes? It's absurd. But the color is rather nice. Who gives a shit…

Well, obviously, you do.

No, I don't. You're being an ass again. Stop.

Nuh-uh, bitch. I'm not, you are. Overreacting and shit.

Shut up. I am not.

Hell yeah you are. Just let the damn boy take you to the nurse. Stop bitching about it.

What the hell, me. You need to learn when to hold your damn tongue.

I'm the same as you are. So shut up.

You shut up.

You're wasting my time.

Well, damn then.

I can't argue with you.

I started an inner war with myself, perfectly oblivious to the sound in front of me. "Hey, miss? Come on. Let's go."

"Well hold your horses." I said, grabbing onto his sleeve. My vision was blurring over. How hard did I hit the floor? Did I hit the step with my head? What did this guy have to do with all this?

….Who's my roommate again? Why do I keep forgetting things! I groaned in frustration, my head deciding it wanted to be an ass and hurt again. Soft jazz music radiated from the small corner of the lobby. The guy playing looked rather content. Elizaveta was now swaying gently next to him, smiling. I raised an eyebrow. Did they happen to be together? Well, it's none of my business anyways. But it does look like they'd be suitable for each other. Hell, what am I thinking. I don't know shit about the two. The brunette leading me always looked back carefully, checking on me. I'd nod here and there. The damn nurse's office was on the whole other side of the building. But I'll live…hopefully. My vision started to look sharp around the edges. Was I feeling dizzy? I think I am getting dizzy…. And it's still so far away. My hand slacked, dropping from the guy's sleeve. I stopped in my tracks. "Hey bastard-"

"_Sorella~ I'm so glad! Master said that we can leave his house now! He's letting us leave!" My eight year old sister said, wrapping her arms around me. Tears of joy were streaming down her face. I widened my eyes. No. He wouldn't just let us go like that. He wouldn't. That man has something up his sleeve. But Felicia…She's so happy….so happy…. _

"_Felicia…" I choked, my tongue not exactly picking the right words to speak. I heard a tap from behind the wall. And that's when my hazel eyes were full circles, enlarged to full potential. "Felicia. Get out of here. Get out Felicia!" I screamed, shoving her away from me. "Hide!" I hissed, quickly looking at the door with my sharp eyes. He wouldn't be happy about us leaving. He was an abusive man that used knives as punishment. He used hard labor as our free time. He used whips as our greeting to scolding. The marks on my back were enough proof. And how many times did I have to skip Gym class so no one could find out that he's evil. He's evil… In no way did he harass us sexually….but any day. Any day could be the day that he finally decides to. Felicia stepped back, her face tainted with streaked tears and a confused expression. "Hide!" I hissed again, staring at the door. The quick and tampered tapping on the wall ensued. I opened a panel under the wood floor and shoved her small frame into it. It was our hiding spot, our sanctuary for when Master was angry. _

_Her baby face pleaded at me. I sent a regretting look her way. My heart ached and I couldn't take anymore. I kissed her on the forehead. "No matter what. Don't look. Cover your ears." I said. My premature, eight year old voice warned her. I can't take it. I couldn't be able to. _

_I heard a whimper. "Sorella…" Before I shut the cover to the little hidey spot. My maid dress was ruffled and dirty. The pinkish color on it was starting to fade. But it was stained with blood._

"_Oh my sweets~ Come on out! You know how I HATE closed doors, huh?" A disgusting sugary voice echoed into the room. I reached into my boot and pulled out a special knife that was only used in emergancy. This would have to be my saving grace. _

"_I'm in here, master." I answered out of habit. The small whimpering continued to radiate from the floor boards. I stomped on the floor with my heel. Nothing. Now it was deafening silent. The doorknob turned slowly. Tears threatened to fall as I pictured my sister's face. _

"_Now what did I tell you, my darling?"_

"_About what, Master?" I said, feigning cute._

"_About wanting to leave, my cute little girl."_

"_Oh. I'm sorry Master. I happened to forget."_

"_Well, you know how I HATE it when you forget stuff, you dumb girl."_

_I winced inwardly. "I'm so sorry, Master. I'll try my best to remember. I promise." I said, my voice wavering a little bit. The consequences for this was starting to dig into my skin._

"_Where is your sister, sweetie?" He said, smiling from ear to ear. Menacingly. _

"_Oh. Well, she's tending to the garden right now." I lied, rocking on my heels a little bit. My young voice was starting to crack._

"_LIES. You are a STUPID girl. A WORTHLESS girl. The only way of you getting any money when you grow up is by prostitution. Dumb bitch. You are a LIAR. You are a silly little liar. I see it all over your face." He hissed. He struck out his hand, slapping me across the face. The cold sting of it made my head tilt. My tears began to go. "Now tell me. Where. Is. Your. Sister?"_

"_You'll only hurt her. I won't tell you." I whispered out of my sore throat. Sore from crying too frequently._

"_Well, Liars only deserve this much. Tell me where the FUCK she is!" He screamed, holding my face harshly with his calloused fingers._

"_I don't know!" I sobbed. It was a horrific scene of me trying to look confident while crying. The liquid rolled down my cheeks insignificantly._

"_TELL. ME." He growled._

"_I don't know!" I said, using the same response as before. _

_He stood back up slowly. His smile left his face. _

_The sound of my uneven, uncontrolled breathing was the light to the silence of the room. But small whines picked up. I heard it. It caught on my ears. Did…Did he notice too? He must've because he reached over and pet my hair softly, tangling it in his fingers. Once he got comfortable, he wrenched his hand, making me hiss in pain and for tears to gradually flow once more. My scalp hurt like hell. But I remember what my Grandfather told me. He said to be true to God. Our Lord. He told me that God loves everyone. That God would always love us. No matter what we did. I hiccupped and weakly grabbed his wrist. Obviously, God Hates me. Obviously, He won't care if I die. He won't care if this devil dies either._

"_Screw God…" I mumbled, jabbing that sharpened knife into his goddamn wrist. He jolted back in pain. Then, I scurried off towards the door. "Come and get me, you fucker!" I screeched, leaning menacingly. Obviously, he was like a bull. Enraged, he bolted after me. And since I'm not the greatest runner, I made many turns and ducked under some things. The sickening crunch of glass on tile echoed down the halls. _

_The front door…._

_I need to get to the front door!_

_There was only one reason why we were prohibited from leaving the gate without Master. The rich neighbors thought we were his nieces. Not his little slaves._

_With a bad taste in my mouth, I took one step out the double doors and yelled at the top of my lungs "HELP ME!"_

_The horrifying rip of fabric and cold metal in between my shoulder blades-_

"STOP!" I screamed, sitting up rather fast. My head rushed and pulsed around me. My vision blurred. Emerald green eyes widened, looking at me.

"Miss, are you okay? Lie down…" He said, his tan hands guiding me to lie back down on the….the cot?

"What the hell happened?" I asked, suddenly wary.

"Hm? Well, you passed out. Lucky that this boy here took you here. He nearly sprinted too." The red headed nurse said, whistling. Her nametag read 'Saxony.' In the corner of the room was a boy that was tall, but not really all so muscular. His blonde hair was hidden by a rather tall (but not too tall) black hat. He had a black cape and yellow lining. But he looked familiar…His nametag was worn down and hard to read with my blurry vision. (Where are my glasses when I need them, Damnit!), but I swear I know him…Isn't that the guy Felicia used to-

I groaned and rubbed my eyes. But the blonde guy kept looking at me, raising an eyebrow. What the hell is his problem? Then before I could react, he looked at the tan guy and back to me. Then smirked.

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><p>I do apologize if her flashback was...sad. Yeah. It was sad. I'm sorry. BY THE WAY. So who's that guy in the corner of the room? I'm sure you can all guess! ALSO. On Both stories, I'm going to take a vote. Here it goes.<p>

After 'Both Ocean and Tears Bring Salt' I will start another story. Which shall it be?

'The Tragedy of the Edelweiss': This Story is about me. Elaine Edelstein, the Austro-Hungarian Empire. It's about my secret crushes. My wants. My cries. It's about the way I died.

'The Diamond Blade of the Seas': When a Captain sells off his daughter, but dies before his daughter and the other pirate could wed, This leads to some unfolding events and turns. All of which was because of the Diamond blade. [Spamano]


	4. Let Me Rethink

You're probably hating me for not uploading this since, Hm. When, October? ;-; I'm sorry. In my defense, I got a job. ~In a bakery~

Interpret this chapter the way you see fit. ;) Also, feel free/obliged to answer the question at the end of this chapter!

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><p>Who the Hell did he think he was.<p>

Why the Hell was I even here.

What the Fuck is going on.

Questions like these ran on and on about my mind as I walked back through the now empty hallway. The pianist guy was gone, and so was Elizaveta. There wasn't any hustling or loud noise that would come from my airhead of a sister. The occasional cough mimicked and echoed from the staircase upstairs. I shivered in my uniform. My numb fingers tried to wrap my red coat around my arms. But it only resulted in me growling and putting off the idea of it all.

"Lizzie! I can't believe it's yooouuuuuuuu~"

"Wanker! Shut up! And why the bloody hell am I being called 'Lizzie?' My name is Elizabeth, you fool!"

I raised an eyebrow, watching a strange couple turn into the lobby. The blonde with long hair was pushing away the tall man with glasses who was eagerly reaching for a hug. "Uh…" I said, not exactly sure what to say at this point in time. The girl looked at me, and dropped her arm, stepping backwards. The male fell down, mumbling a small 'ouch.'

"I do apologize for this rather… unfortunate event. He is just a little crazy, if you don't mind." She said, clearing her throat. I leaned back a bit. Her English is definitely not hard to miss. The girl held out her hand. "I'm Elizabeth Kirkland. The President of this school, if you will."

I shook her hand reluctantly. Her hands were as cold as ice. I wanted to repel them away, but didn't due to courtesy. "Oh, Hi. I'm Lovina Vargas."

"That's a great name. Vargas. Italian, right?"

"Yeah."

"Ah. A pleasure to meet you. I met your sister earlier today. A real bubbly girl."

"Yeah. She has that effect." I said back, pulling my hand away from her fingers of ice. The annoying American stuck out his hand.

"Hey there, pretty lady. I'm Alfred F. Jones. The hero!" He said as I shook his hand. His hands were so warm… The two seemed to balance each other out.

"The fuck…" I mumbled. Who the hell was this 'pretty lady' business from him. Of course, It was an American.

A small whispering voice stilled from behind the duo, they turned around and found that the girl from earlier, Maddie was there, trying to get their attention. I wrapped my scarf tighter around me. Her violet looking eyes widened when she saw the tall American turn towards her. "A-Alfred?" She said, tilting her head to the side. I watched in amazement as the very large male had smiled and warmly engulfed the very small blonde in a hug. What amazed me more was how her white hat could just stay perfectly on her head without falling. She laughed a bit, hugging onto his arm. "It's been such a long time." I looked at Miss President, confused as ever.

She walked over to me, rubbing her hands together in white mittens. "Siblings. Separated, unfortunately. Well, at least they know each other. I never even got to know my own sisters and brothers." She said. I still continued to look back and forth between the conversing duo and the nonchalant Englishwoman next to me. She continued rubbing her hands, then noticed me again. "Huh? Oh, I met this American from my parents. They were everything about family, heritage, and children. Hm." She said, taking off one of her gloves, showing me a silver band with an emerald in the middle.

"You're already married?" I asked. Well, anyone would be shocked to see that a high school student has a ring on their finger just like that.

"No." She said, turning her face away. She muttered something that I couldn't quite catch. It came off as "Not yet." She shifted, trying to cover up what she said. "Prearranged by our parents. Just….just him and I." I stood there, aghast. Who would still continue the tradition that most women hated? Her dark colored green eyes looked out into the falling snow outside. "Weird, isn't it?" I looked at him, and then back to her. They were like polar opposites. How could they be somehow attracted to each other? "A-Anyways." She said, her face turning a weird shade. It was darker than a blush I had ever seen. Damn.

"A-Ah, No, I'm sorry," I said, putting my hands up. "I'm pushing a bit too much, sorry." I said, repeating it again, on instinct, in Italian. Instead, she turned to me with a hearty smile.

"No, no. I'm fine." She said.

I stared back in shock. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Miss Vargas. I do hope that I'll be seeing you again soon." She said, walking over to the North Americans that were beckoning her over. She gave one last wave to me, and walked away with the two, secretly hand in hand.

"Huh." I said, idiotically, turning around and walking out the front door. The lamps along the front pathway marked the frosted crystals on the metal chairs and tables out there. I grumbled when a chilling wind blew straight through my hair. I lazily pulled my schedule out from my coat pocket. My ankles iced over, making me not want to move. But then again, I can't be a coward to this bitch of weather. I turned around, ramming right into another student. "Damnit," I said, stepping backwards and searching in the snow for my schedule. "How many times can I run into someone in a day…" My fingers numbed over. I cursed again, until someone with skin as equally white as the snow bent downwards and easily pulled out the almost damp piece of paper from a mound of snow about a foot away from where I was searching. She looked at me with kind, blue-ish eyes.

"I'm so sorry. I wasn't looking." She said a bit shyly. I hesitantly took my schedule from her hand and pulled her upwards.

"U-Uh. No, It's alright. I crashed into you. Sorry." I said, brushing the icy and very wet snow from my skirt and stockings. This girl had short hair, really really light blonde too. And she was about just as small as the Canadian girl was. Her skin was maybe as white as white could be. But there was still color hidden in it. She mumbled to herself in her light blue scarf. "Oh, Uh, Hi. I'm Lovina Vargas. I'm from Italy. Nice to meet you." I said, looking at her curiously.

She smiled, shaking my hand. "I've met a lot of interesting people today." Her lips were rosy, different than I had ever seen. It's not very usual to see people as pale as this while back home in Italy. Usually, It's always Miss tan, tall, And beautiful. She must be northern. "I'm Tyyne Vainamoinen. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Okay, So maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit, but this girl is white. Pale hair, Violet-ish blue eyes. The whole piece of the pie here. She shook hands with me, then tapped her chin.

"Hm. You're from….Oh wait! Let me guess!" She said excitedly at me when I tried to tell her. She bit the inside of her cheek. "Um. The Mediterranean?" She asked, raising an eyebrow cutely. Tyyne tilted her head, making the white hat on her head defy all aspects of gravity. I looked at it with wide eyes.

"Uh, Yeah. Italy." I mumbled, looking curiously at the hat. I probably looked like an idiot, so I turned my head and scratched my neck nervously. "U-Uh, And You're from somewhere up north, right?"

"I guess you can say that. Finland. I'm so used to the cold weather, It wasn't much of a surprise when I got here. By the way, I'm sorry for making you drop your paper. Sorry." She said cutely. Is she for real? She looks too…Innocent to be a high school student. I nodded to her and nervously laughed again.

"Don't worry. I'm just trying to find out where my classes are. No big deal. And we have two more days until this school starts. So, yeah. It was nice meeting you, Tyyne." I smiled sweetly. She chuckled a bit.

"Alright. I hope to see you around!" She said, waving and walking into the lobby. A wave of warmth from the opening doors mocked me. I shook my shoulders and continued down the covered stone path. Dear lord, where was my school map. I reached into my front pocket slowly, opening the piece of paper.

Lets see, Red days are in the Education part of the school. Which is on the new, marble path to my left. Snow drifted silently down. The lanterns lit up some of the shimmering path, making it easier for me to see. New metal arches started to appear, ones you see in fancy gardens, with limp vines and simple flowers. I made a small sound of astonishment as lamps were woven into the metal, creating a kind of path that one would think to only see in dreams. I looked over and over the marble path, speckled and slippery. Conversing couples and fumbling students passed me without saying a word. They were too caught up in the scenery, just as I had been. The arches provided a simple protection from the taunting snow. I shivered in my jacket and pulled the sleeves over my numb, pale fingers. The path turned left again. I watched clever, younger looking students run and slide on the marble. They laughed over and over again. Maybe I was hit with just a bit of jealousy at them, seeing how joyful people can really be.

After a three minute walk, I came across a very tall, maybe fifteen feet high. There was a black painted gate door, which I had taken to be the entrance to this part of campus. I shakily opened the door. My goal now was just to get my frozen ass into one of the classrooms so I could meet a teacher or two. As I stepped through, My jaw dropped and I looked around In awe.

To the left of the entrance, there was a winter wonderland. A frozen over forest mocked the pine trees with white toping, Showing a building with blue painted windows. The entire structure looked like it was made out of wood. The front steps to the doors of this building were lined with roots of trees. The path was still iced over, but black and white marble. It slowly faded off into that forest I had mentioned before, making it rather impossible to see what was beyond the trees. I took a step backwards and looked carefully at the trees. The branches were woven and twisted around each other, uneasily and like a hypnotic piece of nature. I narrowed my eyes. It said 'Bark'.

To the right was a small, maybe four foot wooden bridge, which curved over a very small, and iced over stream. The end of the bridge broke into a, what I think is, supposed to be a field. The windows of this building were drawn on with fine artwork. On the door, from the frame to the floor read 'Flora' in black calligraphy. I looked closer at the words and noticed that they were actually flowers drawn in black. Those drawing made the word. I gave a sigh of amusement. This place is fucking cool.

But wait.

Why am I here again? Did I audition or something?

Who did I audition for?

When did I audition?

My head throbbed. I leaned over again. Idontwantanotherfaintingspell. Idontwantanotherfaintingspell. Idontwantanotherfaintingspell. Idontwantanotherfaintingspell.

I. Don't. Want. Another. Fainting. Spell.

I breathed in heavily, looking hazily at the white, white snow that was sinking into my bones and freezing my skin. "I'm going to be fine." I told myself, clenching my hand around the end of my skirt. My knuckles turned white. My heart beat fast. I groaned, standing up straight.

I can't remember anything.

I blinked a few times, aimlessly at nothing. Maybe at the frozen fountain in the middle of this section of the school. I looked sadly at it. It reminded me of a weeping angel.

I don't believe in angels.

I waited around, watching hasty students rush around and constantly talk. It was all mindless chatter to my ears. I heard languages I had never heard before. Wait, I need to focus.

I can't remember anything.

I shivered unconsciously in my red jacket. The white ruffles underneath the red skirt tickled my knees. I took one step forward and breathed in. Then out. Let me rethink.

I am Lovina Vargas.

I was born in Rome.

My sister is Felicia. But her real name is Feliciana.

I…I don't know the name of my middle school. I don't know the street address that we had. I don't remember the name of the park that we used to escape to. I don't remember our master's name.

I do remember that bastard.

I don't remember the guys name that liked to play with Feli when she was a kid. I don't remember the color of the walls in my bedroom. I don't remember the name of our neighbor. I don't remember the name of the cat that master killed. I don't remember the name of the city we had to move to. I don't remember my parents' names. I don't even remember if we even had parents.

I don't remember anything.

My head ached and swirled. I felt weak. My heart was pulsing as fast as the sound of racing horses.

Someone laid a hand on my shoulder. I shivered.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked, looking at me, puzzled.

I looked over at the guy. He was rather… Asian. I took a few breaths before answering in a raspy voice "I'm fine. I'm fine. Thank you. Just a little…cold. I'm not used to this weather. He had a super small lisp, and had thicker eyebrows, but not the thickest of them.

My heart stopped accelerating, pulling over and mildly driving at a good number of kilometers per hour. "Alright. Be careful then." He said, looking me over again, cautiously, before joining an Asian girl at the other side of the fountain. A sudden flood of people started to pass by.

Wait, Didn't I just see that person pass me? No, wait, they just turned left. No. They're to my right. What the hell?

I walked, stuttering and looking drunk, across the small bridge.

I opened the door and sat down on the closest chair that I could find.

I need to rethink this.

I need to remember.

I. need. To. Rethink. This.

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><p>So, You've endured this chapter. A rather long one. xD<p>

Question: What do YOU think is happening?


	5. Attractions

Thank you for still following along! I hope that I can post more chapters often. ;) Well, anyways, My facebook group needs Hetalia Rpers so PM me if you're interested, I guess. :D

Happy reading~

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><p>My numb fingers graciously rubbed the area near my eyes. I groaned to myself, making sure that there weren't any students passing by. I leaned back, resting my ever throbbing head on the wall. I had found myself sitting on a bench near the door in the Flora building. Pretty looking stairs lead this way and that. Each door was specially decorated for each subject. I'm guessing that the door across from me and my little bench was algebra. I shook my head. My feet started to tingle. I think I need to go back to the nurse or something. I fixed my skirt stiffly. I need to find an easy way to get back to the dorm rooms. Maybe Maddie is having trouble remembering things too. I hesitantly looked around. Someone caught my eye. I tried to turn and pretend I hadn't noticed him. I walked a bit. But he walked a bit faster. Towards me. I groaned again and turned around to him. "Look. My head's hurting. It's cold outside. I've been having a weird morning, Okay? What do you want?"<p>

He looked a bit shocked and muttered something to himself. "Well, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for earlier. I didn't mean to tumble over such a pretty girl! I hope that you can forgive me."

I looked skeptically at the tan guy. "Will you leave me alone?"

"Uh, Sure. If that's what you want."

I nodded once. "Apology forgiven," I said, walking a little bit away. "Wait. Do you know any other way to get back to the dorms? It was a fucking long trail to begin with. And Like I said, It's cold outside. I don't want to walk through all that snow." I shifted unevenly.

"Huh? Oh yeah! Come with me." He said, taking my hand in his and walking with me to the set of stairs on the left. His hand was very warm. I wanted to melt into it. But I can't. Just that sort of thing. I'm not quite sure why I'm…attracted to him. I sighed. It's high school. It'll pass and I'll never see him again. So why create a bond. And anyways, He fucking made me fall over and pass out. Why even give a crap about this guy! My shoes clicked unevenly on the stairs. He looked back every now and then. Who was this guy. What a weirdo. He stopped suddenly, turning towards me with a smile. "Oh! Did I ever introduce myself?" He asked, taking two steps down so that I was a step higher than he was. I raised an eyebrow.

"Huh? Oh, I don't remember." I said, tilting my head again. I saw the corner of his mouth twitch downwards for a quick second.

"Alrighty. Let me introduce myself then." He smiled whole heartedly. "I'm Antonio Fernandez-Carriedo. A student representing Spain." He took my hand and raised it to his face, and almost super duper gently kissed it. My face flushed red.

"U-Uh! Hi!" I said, trying to cover up my embarrassment. He was so classy and polite. But who does that nowadays! "I'm Lovina Vargas, representing Italy." I managed to say. My heart was instinctively going at 100 kilometers.

What?

What is this?

I barely met this guy.

His beautiful eyes softened into what seemed like a pool of green for me. I blinked into them a few times. He whispered to himself once. "Ah. Lovina." He said, trying to get it inaudible to me. "That's a beautiful name. I love it." He grinned. My hazel-golden eyes widened. What was this? A sudden feeling of deja-vu surged through me. "And I do believe we've met before." He said. A kind of sadness started to swirl into those deep pools of emerald. I was captivated, looking in closer.

"Have we?" I asked.

"_Ah! I'm so sorry! Please come back!" He said, running after the crying girl. She stumbled over the dirt road, not wanting to turn back to the atrocity that was resolving behind her. "It was a mistake! I promise that it wasn't me! Please!" He yelled after her, ducking under the stray trees on the roadside. _

"_I don't believe you!" The insecure girl called back. "Go away from me!" she cried, trying to run even faster. Her legs started to sting from the rough terrain. Her hands were scabbed and ruined. "You hurt me, I don't trust you!" She ran, faster. Her small lungs were overflowing with sobs. She found the gate of the mansion in front of her and saw 'Master' waiting at the doorway. Her eyes widened. A younger girl ran out towards her, nose red and eyes puffy. _

"_Sorella, you're back!" She said, crashing into the darker haired sibling. "I was so scared! I was so scared!" She said, rubbing her face onto the older sister's shoulder._

_The boy looked confused at the very angry adult that stood next to the doorframe, glaring in his direction. "Lovina. Who is this." He demanded, pointed a crooked finger at the green eyed boy. _

_Lovina turned around hastily. "He's nobody. A stalker. He followed me home. And he should go home now." She said, glaring at him as well._

"_No, no. I'm Antonio. The farmer's son. I accidentally fell over your, uh, daughter while we were in the field. And then some friends of mine were being mean, so I wanted to apologize for her and her hands. And I brought some gifts just to say sorry, so I hope you can accept this, please." He said, boldly walking up to the tall and fairly indecent adult, handing him a basket of vegetables._

"_Lovina. Is this true?" He said, pointing his glare at the girl. She scrunched up her face and looked painfully at the tan boy. Then she kicked rocks with her foot._

"_Yes." She mumbled, looking up sadly at the boy again._

_The adult smirked. "Oh. A friend, huh? Fine. You think you're so good at being friends with people. Go on. Be friends. FELICIA and I will be here, waiting for you to stop being such an independent girl, Lovina. Felicia, get over here. Now. We'll just wait for Lovina to come crying back home." He said, tugging on the back of Felicia's shirt, taking her away from the warming arms of her sister. A small whimper escaped the younger Italian girl's mouth. The adult smiled. "After all. That's the only thing that Lovina is good at anyways." _

_Felicia looked up sadly at him, nearly on the brink of tears again. "Please let her stay. Please." _

_The adult sneered. "When Lovina realizes that she is nothing more than a speck of dust, then she can come back home. Now, you and your little friend can get off my property before I get the police." _

_Lovina looked back at the younger Italian girl. "I'll be back for you, Feliciana." She said, walking out of the gate with the boy and kicking it for a good measure._

_The two walked back along the dirt road. "Wow. Your dad is really strict." The boy whistled._

_The young girl twisted her face in disgust. "He's not my father." She said. "But you tell anyone, and I die." She said, turning sharply towards him. _

"_I'm sorry. I'm sorry," He mumbled, looking forward again, at the sunset that was mocking the mood of the two children. He opened his mouth, stopping himself. "Hey, how old are you?" _

_Lovina scoffed. "Thirteen." She said, wanting to add that she had to live with this 'second master.' After all, the first one was executed. _

"_Why are you being treated like that?" He asked, prodding further into her sad past. _

"_Because."_

_Antonio looked forward. "Hey, come with me." He said, taking her hand. She had never felt such warmth before from just this simple gesture. Her face heated up. "I know a place where you can go and nobody can ever ever mess with you." He grinned. _

_He led the girl through a bit of trees and alleys. They headed down towards where the sun would set. Where the sun would ever so slightly taunt her again. "Over here." He said, pushing through some plants and into a tunnel. The soil was damp and cold. Something she was scared of. "Come on. I promise that there isn't anything scary here." He said, giving another smile. _

_Lovina nodded, walking further and further down until brightness was the only thing that she saw. Her jaw dropped. "Wow." She said, looking around at the lush grasses and trees and hills. _

_He smiled sadly. "I'm going to be going back home soon. Back to Spain." He said sadly. "I don't think that we'll ever meet again, so, you know. You can have this field if you want to. I know that I won't be here to take care of it anymore." _

_Lovina looked at him, then down at her hands. She fumbled with the strange markings and scrapes on them, sadly sighing. "Thank you." She whispered, Looking back out at the luxurious view. "By the way, I'm Lovina Vargas." She said, looking back at his green eyes._

_He looked into her golden ones. "I'm Antonio Fernandez-Carriedo."He smiled, putting an arm on her shoulder. She leaned towards him. "You know, this field would have died if I hadn't found it. And If I didn't find it, then someone could have bought it and used it ust for property. But it's too pretty for that, don't you think so? That's why I like this place. It's so calm." He whispered, watching the tall blades of the grass sway along with a somber tempo that did not exist. "I'm sorry If I got you into any trouble. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry." He said. Lovina shut her mouth, staying quiet against the wind. He looked sadly at her, then back outwards. The poor farmer's boy forced himself to stand up, despite the pain that he had radiating in his knees and legs._

"_I have to leave, but I hope I can see you again someday," He smiled, walking his way out of Lovina's life._

"_Okay. I hope to see you again too." She mumbled, tilting her head after the Spanish boy left._

_Antonio walked himself easily down the tunnel, feeling a fulfillment in his heart. "Lovina." He smiled. "That's a beautiful name. I love it."_

I looked back at him. My mind throbbed violently. I swayed a bit, but steadied myself after a warm hand was pressed against my back. I shuddered, remembering the scar that actually seemed to grow larger every year. "I'm sorry. I don't remember you." I said, looking down sadly. I can't remember anything. "But maybe we have met before. My head is just being a jerk right now. I'm sure I'll remember later." I tried to cover. He looked disappointed, like he actually knew and met me before. My head pulsed dramatically.

"Ah, You aren't looking well." He frowned. "I hope it isn't from before." He said, leaning in closer to my probably pale face. "I'm so sorry." He whispered. I bet he was truthful, but my head was definitely soaring with thoughts and hurting as bad as the worst migraine. His grip on my hand softened, and he led me slower up the stairs. There were white arrows painted on the walls. I wonder where it was implying to go.

At the top of the stairs, there was a door that read something in black calligraphy. It was blurry to me, but I'm sure that it was where this Spanish guy was heading. He opened the door, a blast of cold air making me shudder a bit. A girl with different eye colors looked at us with a raised eyebrow. The right eye was green and the other was brown. I blinked a few times, making sure that it was right. Her hair was up in a curly, light brown ponytail. She had black leather gloves and wore a winter-looking white dress. Her skin was olive-ish. Kind of like mine, but the aching in my head made me wince down a bit.

"Oh?" She said. Her nametag read 'Miss Cospaia.' She reminded me a lot like my sister. Although, In her hand was a cigarette. She snuffed it out in the snow. "School doesn't start until a few days." She mumbled to herself. "Yet we must still take care of such cute little natio- Whoops! Never mind. My lips are sealed. Anyways, If you want to get the zip line back to the dorms, you have to have two on one ride!~" She sang to us in a sweet voice. Despite her smoking, her voice sounded cleaner than I've heard a smoker sound.

"Ah. Thank you Miss Cospaia." Antonio said, smiling in her direction.

She bit her lip once. "Dang. School hasn't even started~" She sang again, turning and setting a metal looking thing on the thick wire. "Rules of the ride." She began, checking it once. "The man stands on the left, the lady on the right. The lady must hold onto the center. The man holds onto her. Do not rock back and forth. If you get stuck, then feel free to do so. Pull on the leather strap to slow down. The woman at the end will tell you the rest."

The woman said, clipping something onto the corner of my skirt and onto the belt thing of Antonio's pants. We stepped onto the thick metal bar. I held onto the metal bar in the middle. There was a leather strap where I held onto. "This looks dangerous." I said. Antonio held onto the other strap above my head. "Aren't there any other safety precautions?" I asked, looking at her, confused.

She was sitting back on her chair, her boot on the edge of where our feet were. She lit another cigarette and smiled back at us with a crooked grin. She started to scoot us off the edge of the top of the tall building. "Yeah. Try not to scream." She said, Kicking us off the roof with just the suspension of the cord and the step that we were standing on.

I squeaked, feeling the cold air rush all around me and through me. Antonio smiled and kept looking ahead. I felt his arm tighten around me. I blinked a few times, looking downwards at the small people walking across and about the arched passageway. Snow clung onto the edge of my skirts and onto my stockings. I blinked out the cold substance from my eyes. A tower was up ahead, getting closer towards us. Antonio pulled back on the strap and we slowed down in time to see a step where I supposed we were supposed to get off at. A very blonde and stern faced lady looked at us. "Hm. First one on the ride. Congrats." She said, clapping a bit. "You proved that people have sanity and won't jump off. Good job kids." She said. Her white heels clicked on the wooden support, pulling us closer onto the platform. Her eyes were icy and sharp blue. Intimidating to me. I coward back a bit, not wanting much from this assistant. Her nametag was also worn down, but she looked us over and smiled. "Ah. An Italian and a Spaniard?" She asked.

I looked at her carefully. She pulled her long white coat around her waist. "Yeah…" I said rather dully. I winced inwards again.

"Ah. No worries, Hun. Headaches? They go away." She whistled. "They go away real fast." She leaned outwards and looked at the platform above. "Hey Adel, we've got a Spaniard and an Italian." She said. Her fingers were long. They worked on the clip on our uniforms, taking them off and tossing them to the new woman near the steps to the higher platform. This new woman was equally blonde, but with more deeper eyes. They looked nearly identical except this woman's coat was black.

She looked us up and down. "We've gotten some pretty little reps this time." She smiled. "Aw. Be nice. Their cold. Let these nette Kleinkinder go back to where it's warm."

"You know I'm just teasing, Rhine. Give me a break. Besides. sie werden schnell aufwachsen müssen." She said in strange words. What the hell was this? German?

"Ah. You're right. Okay kiddies. Head somewhere warm." The person who I assumed Rhine was told us.

"Thanks." Antonio said a bit confused. We walked down the wooden stairs to the marble path in unision. "Eh….Uh, Did you know what they were saying?"

I looked at him blankly. "No Idea." I said.

There my shoes went on the damp path. Clickity click. Over and over again. Nothing else sounded but the wind and faint murmurs from the students nearby. The lobby was in sight when we stopped walking. My entire reason for leaving the dorms served as unaccomplished. I saw nothing and met no teachers. I'll just get it done tomorrow. "Uh, You should, um, rest before lunch. You're really cold and stuff. I'm so sorry." He said, starting to apologize to me.

"No, no. You don't need to apologize anymore. I feel like you've repaid it somehow." I mumbled. His eyes brightened a bit.

"Ah, so Lovina. Then you don't… remember. Do you?" He looked back at me.

"Huh/ Remember,,,? I'm sorry. I really can't remember anything today…" I trailed off, looking off sadly to the side.

"Ah, It's okay. Some things, I guess… Just aren't worth remembering. He said, looking down and then back at me for just a split second. "I'll see you later then, Lovina. Take it easy for me, please." He said, turning around and walking off in a new direction.

I stood there, confused as ever, looking at the tracks that he left in the snow.

What is this?

What is this feeling that I have? I don't know him.

I don't think I do.

I took a few steps through the door of the lobby, feeling warmth. But this warmth wasn't fulfilling. The piano was empty, like before. There weren't any hustling North Americans or stubborn Europeans anywhere. There were clicks from people in the levels above. I felt dead. Like Ice. But, I guess I'm just frozen in a time where I didn't have a life before me. And that's why I can't remember anything, no matter how hard I try. I shifted my way, with my corpse of a body up the stairs. I hauled my dead life into the room and made my way up to the bed that was my coffin. I rested my head down and kicked the suitcase of mine by doing so.

Shadows from the falling snow shimmied down the balcony curtains. One at a time, mimicking my confusion, like I could control the bastardly elements of nature. Tomorrow, I want it to snow. I want it to freeze my body and hide me until I'm ready to thaw. Tomorrow, I want to warm up with memories, and to remember the guy that helped me get back today. Tomorrow, I want to cuddle myself under the blankets and pretend that I'm buried in the sandy beaches at my home in Italy. But that can't really happen. It'll just freeze me over and over, locking me into one spot. The door creaked open and I heard a timid voice call out "Lovina, are you here?"

I shivered in my clothes. "Sh. I'm going to take a nap. Then I'll wake up, and find things all normal. Thanks Maddie." I mumbled, gripping on tightly to the white, fluffy pillows.

I have to remind myself over and over again.

I am not attracted to him.

It's just high school.

I do not think that he looks wonderful.

I do not think that he is either.

I will not be attracted to him.

I barely met him.

I won't remember him.

He's leaving my life.

But the thing is that I'm really bad at remembering things. I hope that this doesn't turn out as some little crush.. Because one thing that I've learned is that attractions are deadly.

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><p>I hope that you endured that entire chapter. :D I know I didn't! Well, anyways, thanks for reading! More Reviews=Faster updates!<p> 


	6. A Mother's Nocturne

Why do I feel Kind of accomplished? Because I finally got off my ass and typed this? Yup.

Song: Nocturne by Secret Garden

May induce tears. That, or I'm a wimp. Enjoy~

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><p>I'm back where I started.<p>

When did this happen?

More importantly, why had this happened?

I don't understand why.

It's just a pretty little face and another headache. Why? I shook myself off, walking carefully up the steps back to the room, where I found that there wasn't a use for anything. My roommate, Maddie, straightened white, gleaming curtains, praising herself under her breath. When I entered the room, she raised her eyebrows and smiled softly. After, she turned back, to her own being, and kept her own business in mind. The corner of my mouth inched upwards in a smile. It was nice and warm in here, lights letting off a yellow-ish glow. I breathed inwards and shuffled my way up the steps and onto my bed. The sheets were even warmer. Why does this feel so welcoming to me? I feel like I'm at home. And nothing can really tell me why, because I've never actually had a home of my own. I snuggled in the white pillow I had brought with me to this school, feeling a wave of contentment. I sighed.

Madaline sighed along. "It feels so nice here. I don't know why. I'm sure you think the same thing." She whispered at the cold, frosted glass of the balcony door. I mumbled a 'yes' into the pillow, starting to sit up.

"Hey, how was your childhood like?" I asked, slowly as to not break any strings that might be just holding her together. My head pulsed again, simmering at the warmth of the room. Maddie's breath fogged up the glass as she exhaled deeply.

"Ah. Well, are you sure you want to hear about it?" She said, turning to me. I nodded once, down at her monotone reflection. She nodded, sitting on the bed that was across from mine.

"I didn't quite have it well…"

_The young, blonde girl shivered at her reflection. Rain drizzled ungracefully on her broken umbrella. The shops of each street were all closed. Closed for Christmas. She turned, sniffling to her brother, who wiped blood from his nose. He fought to catch his breath. She matched it with her own, visible because of the cold that tainted the air. The rain continued to fall, a bit heavier than before. Her older brother hissed, pounding his fist against the stone sidewalk. City folk rushed around and about, out of the rain. The girl's beautiful long locks of gold were plastered to her face and her back. She wiggled her toes a bit, then hesitantly looked up at the shop window, watching the tears stream down her face in her reflection._

_She winced backwards, scared at what she saw. "Come on, sis. Let's get out of here, or we'll die." Her brother said, tugging her dirty sleeve. She nodded, not saying a word. _

_She simply chose that speaking was out of her view of the world. After all, the world had given up on her so many times. Speaking was no longer an option to her. She nodded to her brother, her frosty breaths becoming inaudible to herself. _

_The two children walked along the path, watching the rain drip onto their little feet. They crowded under the broken umbrella, unable to do more than just that. What home was there to welcome them? The little blonde girl was sad. Watching everyone simply pass by, not allowing a second glance to the duo. They turned corners, and corners alone drove her to tears. They started to flow down her face, gently. She loved the rain. She loved how it hid all of the sadness that was starting to crumble into her tiny heart. Her brother stumbled, and she helped him up, sadly waiting for another person to walk by and just keep walking._

_They hid in alleys, wanting to get out of view from the harsh, cold world. Why couldn't anyone just help the two. She heard voices of a mother that was no longer there to take care of the children. She cried to herself, sliding her head onto her brother's lap._

"_Now Let the day just slip away_

_so the dark night may watch over you._

_Velvet blue, silent true,_

_It embraces your heart and your soul,_

_Nocturne."_

_She heard it whisper against the metal clangs of the rain on the water pipes. The lights that lit the dark streets started to haze away from her view. Her brother stroked her long hair, shaking in himself too. The voices of their dead mother echoed in this rain, reminding the siblings of all that they lost. The only thing they loved. The young girl cried harder, remembering of the lullaby that she sang every night before her demise. Before they took everything away. Now her brother sang along, sniffling in his own tears, trying to get a glimpse of the angel that tried her best to watch them. _

"_Never Cry,_

_Never Sigh._

_You don't have to wonder why."_

_It sang to her, sweetening her bitter, cold heart._

"_Always be,_

_Always see._

_Come and dream the night with me._

_Nocturne." _

_It ended, swirling her tears into a night filled with sadness and darkness for years. _

_The next morning she woke up, against a warm wall and snow, drifting along her hair, making it damp. She shivered and looked around carefully. She sniffled, and wiggled her numb toes again. In her poverty shoes, she walked around the streets, looking up and down impatiently and sadly. Her eyes filled with tears again, which could no longer be masked because of the snow that fell down ungracefully. For once, people asked her if she was fine. Her eyes widened and she shook her head 'no'. Afterwards, she had found herself running back to where she had fallen asleep. But that could never happen._

_She fell asleep on her brother's lap._

_And her brother was no where to be found. _

_Stains of blood led where he had his bloody nose. But the snow hastily covered up the only source she had. The girl frowned and bundled herself in a ball, leaning against the warm wall where she had woken up. The scent of her mother, pine needles and warm maple, drifted around her. She felt warm. So welcomed and warm. Something she hadn't felt in a while. Her heart gleamed, and she closed her eyes, lying down on the snowy floor. Her hair was damp and scrunched up against her head. She warmed herself into this feeling of being loved. She heard shushing noised against her ear. "Shh…" It warned her. "Shh…" She slowed her breathing. _

_Ever slower it became._

_Ever so slower._

_Her eyes snapped open. She caught a glimpse of the loving face of her mother. She gasped and leaned back against the warm wall again. Her mother was trying to take her away. She was trying to take the girl away with her. The young girl's eyes filled with tears. She stuttered backwards, standing up and wanting to get away from her mother. 'I can't go with you, Mama.' She had to think to herself sadly. 'You're dead, Mama. I can't go with you. I can't leave my brother, Mama. I can't do it.' She thought again and again, starting to sob. Tears burrowed themselves into the snow, leaving dents. _

_She lifted her head to the sky and cried louder. _

_Her heart filled with loneliness._

_She was lonely._

_There wasn't anyone with her._

_Who would lover her now?_

_Now, everything, every single thing that she had to live for, was taken away from her._

_Her mother._

_Her brother._

_Everything._

_She sobbed louder, finding her voice against the hustling of the city people. The sound of her mother's voice faded away, being replaced by the sweet sounding, dark notes of her brother. The voice of her brother haunted her, singing ever so sweetly to her, beckoning her somewhere where she did not want to go._

_It sang louder, sweeter than before. Just as he had sang that last night that they were together._

"_Have no fear,_

_When the night draws near._

_And fills you with dreams and desire._

_Like a child asleep._

_So warm,_

_So deep._

_You will find me, there waiting for you._

_Nocturne"_

_She sobbed, finding her voice. She wanted to say something, but she hadn't spoken in so long, it's as if she had forgotten. The tears stained her face, and she shuddered into the warm wall again._

"_We will fly_

_In the sky_

_We don't have to wonder why._

_Always be,_

_Always see,_

_Come and dream the night with me._

_Nocturne."_

_She shivered, knowing that she was going to become like her mother was. Dead. She cried. She cried of the feeling that she kept with her. Loneliness. Sadness. Departure. She didn't want to go unless she knew that she was leaving with her brother beside her. She felt selfish and horrible, but didn't want to let go of the feeling. She cried for her mother and her brother. The only things she had left. She cried because she was alone and didn't know what to do._

"_Though Darkness lay,_

_It will give way,_

_When the dark night delivers the day."_

_She sang the only word that would be able to be spoken after years of silence._

"Nocturne."

I watched as the suddenly sullen girl rang out the last note of her mother's lullaby. I looked at her in shock. "Are you okay?" I asked, watching her lower her head, as if the reflection of the glass scared her. She shivered.

"I'm fine." She said shakily. "Thank you." She shook again. I walked down the steps and wrapped a blanket around her. Her face paled. She was twirling a part of her hair in her fingers. She wiped one of her eyes darkly. The color started to darken, creating a violet of sadness and hues of regret. "I was taken away from that street when I woke up the next day. I found myself in Canada somehow. Someone took me there and left me at a school, I guess. We were living in the U.S, close to the Canadian border. And that's how I came to be. I lived and studied at that school, and I tried to get money to find my brother. And I did find him. After ten years, I went back to New York. Back to the spot where we slept. And I found him." She smiled, wiping more tears from her eyes. "And I could just hear the sound of our mother's lullaby. Bringing us two back together after so many years."

I carefully put a hand on her back, feeling a wave of regret and happiness at the same time. It radiated from this girl, bringing me to the feeling like I was there. "I'm just so glad. So glad I found him, you know?"

I nodded to her. A feeling filled the air and rushed against me. Small whisperings leaned against my ear. A feeling of dread masked over my headache. I felt overwhelmed. The Canadian leaned in closer to me. The whispering started to make itself out to me. It whispered over and over again.

"_Nocturne."_

It hissed. Maddie turned her head.

"Mother….Go away…"

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><p>OOOH.<p>

Yeah, I'm a loser. So tell me. What do YOU Think just happened? :D


	7. Shadows

It's been...a long time. ;A; Sorry.

I also apologize for such a suckish chapter. But it's going to work into the plot, so, It's all good! ...right...? I hope so.

Happy reading!~

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><p>I looked around nervously at the ominous surroundings. Shadows on the wall slowly started to look like they were trying to reach for something that was not there. I looked down at the somewhat fragile looking girl. She looked at the floor, confused. Her face was deathly white, surrounded by her golden locks of hair. She yawned, and I wrapped a blanket around her shoulders. This place is creepy. Really. Fucking. Creepy. And I don't like it. The curtains swayed around dangerously, though there wasn't any wind at all. I raised an eyebrow and stood up slowly. The room started to smell like burnt sugar cookies and vanilla. Maddie lifted her head and looked around, concentrated. "Mother. I don't want you here." She whispered defiantly. I looked around too. Who the hell was she direction that to? Her mom, right? But no one else is in the room. I shook my head. I don't get it. And, Sometimes, I'd rather it be so. I'm sure that my gauge of creepiness had burst quite a while back. But some things, you can't get rid of. I remembered the little tune that had once rang around in this room. It was starting to etch itself into my memory, not wanting to pull away. Those notes resonated off the walls, but quietly. Like in a muffled way. I looked around again. The snow outside changed into the drops of water that I hate, rain. The harmonic notes filled the air. I was scared of it. Who wouldn't be! I started to walk to the door of the dorm. I had been going in and out all morning, but whatever.<p>

"I'll be right back." I said. Maddie nodded, tilting her head towards the window and yawning again. I took a look at her. Why was she becoming so sleepy all of a sudden? She had been okay this morning. I left the room, locking it quietly. Out in the hall, the light had dimmed from that warm orange, to some pitiful amounts of gray. The candles were no longer burning. Dim light filled in from the small windows. Thunder rolled outside, mocking me in my current situation. Despite the light, It was rather dark, and I wouldn't be able to see anything else within four more feet of myself. A flash of light sparked the hallway, then another call of moaning thunder. It sounded torturous. Like the light was hurting the skies every time it clashed. I shuddered. Why the hell would it be raining like crazy right now? It was snowing just a bit ago! I pouted and looked inside of the little candle things, whatever they're called. One of the candles were lit. But the melted wax was going to drown the poor little flame. I picked up the candle by the base and tilted it until it no longer had a little pool of wax around it. The flame flickered and slowly returned into a good sized flame. I brought the candle along with me, down the hallway, towards the stairs. It was a process. Light a candle, lightning, then thunder.

Light a candle, lightning, thunder, then wind.

Light a candle, lightning, thunder, wind, then lightning and thunder again.

My eye twitched at it. The hallway now had that slightly thin, but warm glow of the candles again. I ran my ass back to the first candle and put it back into its little glass case again. I sighed and looked around. I'm not scared of the dark. But I sure as hell ain't going to walk down a dark hallway when it's fucking stormy outside. All bad things happen like that. Only the innocent princesses of our world don't know that. I continued down the hall, hearing laughter from the floor below. Nice music played and echoed off the stone walls. I leaned down, looking from the top of the stairs. There was a group of people, all having a blast, as if nothing wrong was happening to them. My sister was among them, being her naturally cheery self. Behind her back, she was making snapping motions with her fingers. She also had her head tilted, and was leaning back a little bit. I rolled my eyes. I know this act. The girl does it when she's uncomfortable and nervous. What were they saying to her? Well, it was a big group anyways. Why wouldn't she be nervous! And what the hell! She already has her little group and shit. I have...I have Maddie. And it wouldn't be appropriate to add in that Spanish guy, but whatever. I haven't even met much people yet. My sister looked up expectantly, giving a sigh of relief when she saw me.

"Sorella! Come here, let me introduce you to everyone." She called happily. I shrugged and walked down the steps, putting on my 'I don't give a crap about anyone' face. Because really, I could care less who they were. Feli hugged me around the neck (the only hug she ever gives anyone, unless they're shorter) and turned me towards the crowd. I could see why she was nervous. These people were big, loud, and overall, pushy. The talkative group quieted down. "This is my sister, Lovina." Feli introduced.

The group said hi back and waved at me. I lifted an arm and gave a weak wave. "So, Lovina, This is Xiao Mei, she came from Taiwan." She said, gesturing to a long haired girl, who was rather beautiful, but...short. Xiao Mei nodded to me and smiled. I smiled back, like a normal person would do. But then, Feliciana took a deep breath and continued. "The one over there with the long ponytail is Kim-ly, the blonde with the kind of wavy short hair is Emily, over there is Arthur, the one with kind of messy blonde-ish hair. Ummm..." She said, looking around and trying to remember. "The one on the piano is Roderich. And I know there are a bunch more Europeans..." She fumbled. I looked around at the people in the lobby. A lot of them were talking about the freak weather. Most of them were rather soaking. I didn't want to get close to them. At all. I'm fucking cold, I fucking hate the cold, and I'd rather like to not get so fucking cold again. The thunder boomed outside and people started to murmur again. With the flash and a clash, my chest started to pain again. I didn't hear anything about those words that my sister was saying. I just looked around blankly. I blinked twice, stepping back and waving at anyone who spoke to me.

"And The girl with the ribbons is Bella. She's one of your roommates. Huh? Hey, Sorella, are you listening?" Feliciana asked.

"Huh? Oh yeah. Xiao Mei is the one with the pink flower in her hair. The long pony tailed girl is Kim-Ly, The short hair blonde is Emily, the dirty blonde haired guy is Arthur." I said, hoping to rack my memory for my sudden mindlessness. "Umm...Roderich is on the piano, Uh, I think that you said Ludwig was that German guy, and Kiku was the japanese one. And, um, Over there is Heracles and Sadik. Right?" I asked. "Oh wait, and the one with the ribbons, Bella, Is my roommate." I finished, looking around. There was a bunch of people that I had yet to remember. "And the guy standing by the door is Antonio."

Wait.

What just happened here?

I remembered him as part of this little group? Wait, he's part of this group? Since when? I had never noticed. Had Feliciana invited him here?

"Sorella, I never mentioned that guy." she said. "But I'll go say Hi to him!"

I shrugged, taking quick glances at the obviously freezing and wet Spaniard. I bit my lip. H-He doesn't deserve my help anyways. Besides, he's a big boy, and can go dry up all by his fucking self! I huffed, turning around and waving to the crowd. "Ciao. I'm going back up. Nice to meet you all." I said of courtesy, giving a quick smile and making my way up the stairs. I glanced back every so often, walking up the careful steps of the place. His hair was clinging to his face, and he looked around like he was searching for something. The same kind of expression that a lot of people here were having. I blushed and shook my head. No! I won't...I won't even LOOK at him! Tch!

I span on my heel and stalked my way up the stairs angrily, hardly stopping myself. I took one look in the hallway and groaned in frustration. Lightning mimicked me, or more like mocked me. It flashed every time in my frustration. "What the hell!" I groaned, receiving another flash of lightning. Every candle in the hallway had burned its way to the very bottom of the wick. The hallway was back to its horrible gray self again. The shadows on the walls peered down, chilling my spine. And I hated it. "All I need to do is make it through the damn hallway without killing myself by walking straight. And it seems to be fucking harder than it really is! I took one step forward, and was blinded by another flash of light. This time, a raspy laughter circled around.

I froze. "What was that?" I asked, narrowing my eyes and looking around? I was maybe about twenty feet from the dorm. But, no one else was around. Another bright flash of lightning, and figures slid off the walls.

"Oh, lookie who has their God!" something spat.

I froze. "...What?" I whispered, clenching my fists and staring at the floor. The shadows that were once being pushed away to the corners circled me dangerously. I looked around carefully. "Um, who was that?" I asked icily. No reply. Not a single sound besides the pounding rain. Another flash lit up the hallway. It seemed to thin around me. My chest started to sting like mini needles prickling it up and down. Soon, it grew into a stabbing pain. My eyes widened, and I clutched my chest, leaning forward a bit. "What's...happening..." I groaned, looking up slowly.

A heavy cackling filled the air, and I could feel every nerve in my body stop working. "Look at you now! Filthy little whore." It sneered to me again. I stared at him. I stared at the hole in his head, dripping blood on the floor. One after another, the drops made deafening noises. "Where's your God?" he asked, leaning closer to me with whitened eyes. The rain outside became louder, echoing every movement that he made. I stayed perfectly still, looking up at him. "Where's your GOD?" he asked, louder this time.

I watched his hand extend out to me. I smacked it away and staggered backwards. "You're dead!" My chest hurt harder. The scar on my back began to pulse abnormally. "You're DEAD!" I repeated, just as he had, pushing on his sticky, bloodied shoulder. Red stains were starting to dip from my own hands. But they weren't bleeding. I shakily rubbed my hands together, only seeing that more blood started to come out. "What the hell!" I squeaked, looking up at the face of the murderer of my child hood. He stood there, smiling like a maniac, laughing every once in a while as I tried to get the blood off of my hands.

"You're just as bad as me! You're going to Hell! God doesn't accept people like you!" He laughed hysterically.

"You're wrong!" I said, feeling tears start to fall. Why am I crying! What's going on? The muscles on that man twisted and deformed, exploding into shadows and blood.

I watched as the splatters stained my clothes, my arms, and my legs. The smell drifted along in the air. I watched, traumatized, as the shadows, just formed itself and answered another call of thunder and lightning. I opened my mouth, letting out a silent scream at the gore-like mess. The walls started to twirl in my vision, and I clutched my head, getting the sticky blood in my hair. The laughter was carving itself into my memory. Raspy and horrible from smoke and such. I stood up again slowly. how much more was this place going to give me! Dead people walk the halls, searching for something that no one here even has. I can't stand it one more minute! I trudged down the hall angrily, ignoring the trail of blood that only I could see. No one would even give a damn if I were to love like this anyways, so fuck it! I'm leaving this place! Sticky and bitter bloodied shadows hung onto my ankles. Laughter of various people bounced on the stone and stabbed my ears tenderly. The rain pounded over and over again outside against the very small windows. They are thundering noises that make me upset.

As I walked down the hall for the twentieth time, ignoring the dark slick around my feet, voices started to come closer to me. Lightning brightened the hallway, and I could see some red and green pairs of eyes walk up the stairs. My own eyes widened and I quickly span on my heel, dragging myself faster towards my room. There was no way in hell that I was going to be caught my that Spanish Bastard for another time again! No way! I put my hand on the doorknob to the room and stomped in place, trying to get the icky, dripping blood off of my legs. It has been so far past the 'disturbing' stage that I'm totally cool with this blood thing. But don't get me wrong.

That shit is annoying.

And anything annoying to me has to roll into a pit. And die.

But that's not exactly easy, considering that this isn't real at all, and that people would look at me like a maniac if I told them that there was blood dripping off my hands, shoulders, and ankles. It's normally 'rejected by the general public.' Besides. Everything at this school. It's all getting to me, ringing in my head. What was I doing again? I forgot. Why the hell am I back at the room? Oh, right. "Dumbass, There were people coming down this hall!" I whispered to myself and laughed, rubbing the 'imaginary' blood off of my ankles and chuckling darkly. But who knew how long I was standing there. A tap on my shoulder knocked me out of my dark humor state, making my stand up straight and look around, scared shitless. I pouted. "It's just you. Again." I said, rubbing the palms of my hands together. "Oh, and look. You brought a friend."

"Yup!" He smiled cheerfully, tilted his head at me before looking at my hands. My face reddened and I put my hands behind my back.

"Uh, what were you doing earlier?" his friend asked, taking my arm and looking at the front and back sides of my hands. What the fuck! I jerked my hands backward and my heated face showed an emotion of disappointment.

"Nothing that you should be concerned about!" I squeaked, leaning forward.

"Wow. Someone's bitchy today."

"Well, someone's nosy today." I retorted, my face set on annoyance. How dare this weird albino call me a bitch. Er- He called me 'bitchy' but that's just as worse, isn't it! His strangely colored eyes looked me up and down, before he slacked backwards and laughed.

"Interesting one." he mumbled, nudging Antonio in the side. "You'll have fun with this one." he laughed again. My jaw dropped. 'This one.'... Does that mean that there has been more than one? Wait, wait, Remember, Lovina! You don't give a damn!

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I said, putting a hand on my hip and shifting my weight. The blood stained on my clothes. I gulped. They can't see it. If they had seen it before, then they would have said something about it. Antonio put his hands up, shaking his head.

"Nothing, nothing, Lovina! My friend is just trying to be funny." He chuckled, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. His eyes kept trailing back to my hands. "His name is Gilbert. Gilbert, this is Lovina Vargas." he smiled.

I looked at him skeptically. The door to the room opened and a messy haired Canadian girl looked at this little group of questions with a frown. She realized that she had company and tried to fix her hair a bit, blushing. "O-Oh. Hi..." She mumbled, looking at the two other students next to me. "It's nice to meet you..." she whispered.

"We can't hear you if you're whispering." Gilbert said raising an eyebrow and smiling. He was obviously interested. And I was obviously pissed about this. I walked two steps closer to Maddie and looked at my two 'friendly stalkers,' unamused.

"U-Uh, I'm so sorry..." She said hesitantly, fiddling with the red ribbons that held her hair. She tugged down the ends of her skirt uneasilly. "I was just going to go find Lovina and ask her if she wanted to head to get lunch..." Maddie said, stiffling a yawn, if that was even possible.

"Sure. That's fine with me actually." I smiled to her. But I wanted to say 'Goddamn, I'm starving!' But that's not entirely "nice" either. "Let me just get something from the room." I mumbled. But Maddie and Gilbert were already in a decent conversation. Antonio looked around at the stone walls and at the floor. I rolled my eyes. It couldn't be avoided anyways. "yeah, yeah, well, you guys can start heading there or whatever. I'll be there later."

Antonio's eyes lit up. "D-Does that mean that you're inviting us there too?" He smiled.

I puffed up my cheeks. "Continue to be a nuisance, and you won't be." I said.

"We'll start going. Come on, Antonio." Gilbert said, waving the Spaniard over to him and Maddie. They started to walk, to engaged in their own conversation to notice that Antonio wasn't following at all.

I turned around and put a step through the doorframe. Something grabbed onto my hand and stopped me. My face heated. And nobody can blame me for it, because you'd blush too if someone grabbed your hand! "Miss Vargas...you know your hands are bleeding, right?"

It took a while for my mind to register that. "...What?"

"Your hands. Are bleeding? Or, er, maybe you can't see it, but the shadows are making blood on your hands..." he said with a puzzled face. I looked at him, scanning his face. He can see it. He can see it too. "Ah, nevermind. Forget everything, I'm sorry." he mumbled, letting go and backing up a bit. Antonio gave a half hearted wave. "I'll see you downstairs, okay?" He said again, trying to hide his obviously confused emotions.

After he left, I looked at my hands warily. I'm bleeding shadows. But I thought I was the only one who could see! I lunged my way inside the room and vigorously washed my hands in steaming water until they were raw on the edges. I rubbed my hands on the ends of my skirt and tried to stop myself from slamming the dorm door closed.

Of all things, shouldn't I feel glad that someone knows something now?

Why do I feel so... so angry!

I know that sometimes, I act this way. But I don't know why. I don't want to be angry!

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><p>I hope that you liked it! review if you would like to. -Because I really do Love those reviews!-<p> 


	8. Spark

It's been so long... I'm sorry. ;A; I'll work harder! Anyways, this Chapter does have significance in the plot. It's not a filler, I swear.

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><p>I gripped hard on the ends of my jacket, grumbling in anger. He could see the blood. He saw it! Why am I so angry then? I have no reason to, right? I sighed, sneering at the floor. Why would he give a damn. He really doesn't care anyways. It's a pain to even think about it. My head is starting to hurt again, dammit... I hear that strange music from downstairs again. I can hear it from up here. It's jazz this time. The pressure in my head starts to disappear a bit. I let out the breath that I've been holding in for a while now. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to feel anymore. I shake my head, dizzy, I'm dizzy. I shiver in waves. They leave prickles and goosebumps along the ends of my skin, making me feel like there are a million needles everywhere. It's frosty. I can still hear the drops of rain; the rain has slowed down dramatically. If I don't hurry, then I'd be keeping Maddie and those other two waiting. That'd be rude.<p>

I'm rude anyways.

'No you're not.' I retort to myself.

I laugh at myself, suddenly wary of all the little shadows on the wall. They turn into shapes and tease me; they're trying to make me mad. I shake my head and continue down the hallway. The hallway that I've been walking up and down for since a while ago. Down the stairs, I see that the lobby has cleared. The front desk area is empty, and the people who remain are staying nearby the piano and the piano guy. The light is dim gray, mixed in with some hints of warm amber from the , the rain slows down even further, until it's nothing but a drizzle. It's so gray. Gray, white, gray. So monochrome, it makes my eyes hurt. It's bright with the little bits of color. I pick up my feet, walking to the clear doors that lead outside. If I can just make it to the Cafeteria without having my head feel like it wants to explode, then I'd feel really. REALLY. Grateful. The piano guy looks at me awkwardly. I wave in that same awkwardness back. He's got people around him, playing instruments, and humming out solemn tunes. They don't notice me much. It's not that I mind. But this jazz group is strangely appealing. I raise an eyebrow, stepping closer and closer to the clear door. I open it. Just a tiny tiny bit. A large gust of icy wind pushes my hair back, making me close my eyes at the frost as well. My face feels numb, like my fingers, but I just continue, stepping outside and hearing a humongous crunch.

Just my luck.

It's all ice.

It looks like the whole place was covered in a very thick sheet of ice. "How is this even Possible?" I squeaked out. That was a good couple feet of ice further down there! Like, two or something! I heard bits of laughter as a tall man started handing out stuff to the students were those...were those SKATES? My jaw dropped. And that's the Principal, isn't it? Oh lord, this is going to be an interesting.

"Aw, sure! Here. You can have some skates. Oh, you can have some too!" He said, handing them out cheerily like nobody's business. I rolled my eyes. What a dorky principal. It 's really funny, and cool, I guess, since he's doing this. But what a dork. I feel like I know him. I shook my head. Impossible. This was the school's principal. The faint reassurance of jazz music faded to a halt. People inside the lobby applauded. I applauded too. Just not out loud. The old guy caught my eye. "Hi Lovina! Do you want some skates?" he sang.

I calmly walked over, trying my best to look dignified on the slippery ice. "Uh- sure. Why not." I said.

You idiot! You don't know how to skate! Why the hell are you accepting them! You're from Italy! You lived right next to the godforsaken beach! When would you ever find it imperative to learn to ice skate!

Oh calm down. You're the real idiot. You see, I'm not an egomaniac, but I've got a pretty good feeling about this. Skates? Psh. I can handle them. Ice never killed anyone.

Yeah, well, ice has caused people to break some ankles!-

"-Uh, Lovina? Loviiiiiinaaaaaaa~?" The principal said, waving a gloved hand in front of me. I jumped upward, surprised, and looked at him quizzically.

"Who the hell are you?" I retorted quickly. He gave a full hearted laugh and patted me on the back.

"It's nice to see you too, Miss Vargas. How has your day been going?" He asked happily. I grimaced inwardly. Damn. He was so cheery. It's like a second Antonio or something. I looked at him. He looked quite familiar. Like I have met him before... Whatever. Chances are that I have. I just don't remember him. In fact, I can't remember anything from before. Where did I live last? Right, it was Rome...Right? God, I can't tell anymore. I put a hand on my head, rubbing it a bit.

"Uh- I'm fine, sir. How about you?" I asked. Well, I didn't really want to ask. It's just that I didn't want to seem rude...er, Again. He nodded to me and looked back out into the icy area. The arcs that I had once walked under were now frosted with crystals of ice. The gray light bounced off of it almost annoyingly, but right now, I could care less. People skated by and laughed. "Why do you make it like this?" I asked him. He turned to me with his curly mess of hair and looked at me with a strange expression. Then, he shook his head and dropped the smile. He gazed out back into the ice, and watch the students go around in circles and past the marble floor that ice had frozen over.

"You see, I don't make it like this. I just make it more manageable. The reason that this place is like this is because of the way that people feel." He said, turning to me with sudden wise eyes. "If you feel icy, then this place is equally so." He finished with a nod, spinning on his heels and walking towards the door. "Well, there are some skates left. Help yourself. You're going to the cafeteria, aren't you? Hurry up because the sun is going to come out soon. Causes darker shadows, you know." He said strangely, walking through the doors. Idiotically, I stood there with my mouth open, and my head slightly tilted. My ankles felt numb and frosted, and maybe that's why I didn't move an inch from where I was standing. Who did he think he was? Trying to scare me like that... I'm not afraid of the shadows, I'm not! I promise! I groaned in frustration and stamped a foot on the floor, hardening the super soft patch of snow into compressed ice. Tch. Ice skates. I can manage it well enough...

But I still can't wrap my mind around what that weird principal said.

I shook my head, sending my awkward brown curls about. Whatever. I'll just pass up on it anyways. I bent downwards and snapped on the damn skates. I can do this. I've lived through so many years of pain and terror. Skates aren't going to affect my whole damn personality. It's already harsh anyways. The light from the dim clouds wavered as a new batch replaced it. I shrugged. The weather was weird already. People skated by, laughing and singing catchy songs that I don't want to remember. And to my dismay, there they were. Maddie and Gilbert.

I swear that a vein popped in my head. He was holding her so closely. German bastard. Maddie's face was as red as can be, and she had on a simple, modestly shy smile. As they span past, she waved, chuckling. I turned my palms toward the sky, thinking. "Why, god? Why?" And to make matters worse, something incredibly warm grabbed onto my hand. I trailed my gaze upwards, seeing wonderfully sparkling orbs of emerald.

I- I mean, not that It's like I care or anything! I-It's just that the color is nice! Dammit...

I blushed, turning my head away. "What do you want now, bastard?"

"Well, I'm taking you to the cafeteria! Come on! Let's go~" he swooned, grabbing onto my hand, and pulling me onto the ice. I stumbled crazily, a little jealous that Maddie and that German bastard could skate with ease. Well, I guess it's fine, because where I used to live (wherever the hell that was) there was never anything to do with ice or snow. Antonio laughed, holding both my hands and skated through the path with ease. Backwards.

"B-Bastard! Watch it! You're going backwards! Are you fucking insane?" I squeaked as he laughed, bringing me even faster on the ice. "You're going to hurt yourself! Face the right way!" I argued, certain that I was turning red. I could see his breath. It was so close to mine. What the hell! I don't even know this guy! He's so close, though. It's...kind of warm...

Shut up, Lovina! What are you thinking about! Stupid girl.

I squeezed my eyes shut, letting him lead the way through his cheery smiles and laughter. Opening my eyes, I saw the bright, gray light of the sky, taunting the sun to come out of the clouds. Where the sun deliberately disagreed, and hid back even further. They were playing and being mean to it. I huffed, turning my heels so that the two of us would slow down in time to reach the cafeteria. Which was fucking huge. Squinting through the light, I could see that the building was about half the size of the dorms, and had lights almost everywhere inside of it. "Lovina, are you coming? Take off your skates." Antonio coaxed. I nodded, in a daze, still looking at the building. How large was the entire place, if it consisted of wide fields, long distances, and huge buildings? I took off my skates, and to my humor, there were all of our shoes. Magically teleported over here. I scoffed, shoving my feet into them, and standing up slowly. We walked in through the engraved, wooden double doors. The floor was shiny and white, sparkling brightly. Soft music played through speakers that were creatively hidden in railings and items. The smell of food was so wonderfully great. I wanted to faint~ I could smell pasta from anywhere, and this place radiated that scent. There were two curving stairs that led to a next floor.

People dressed as waiters hurried around with food on carts, hopping from door to door. The place was lined with doors. There was the sound of plates clinking together. It seemed that groups were in each room. I tilted my head. So we get to have a personal room to eat in? This is insane. A certain tick made my head start to pulse again. I moaned, turning my head. Not this headache again...

"Hello, Lovina." Came a soft voice behind me. I turned around slowly, seeing a blushing, smiling, Canadian girl. And that bastard was still with her. I scoffed.

"Hi, Maddie. Hi potato freak." I added, sneering.

The albino stuck out his tongue. "You're just jealous of how awesome I am."

"What a brilliant ego you've got. I'll be glad to crush it." I retorted back. Maddie chuckled, covering her mouth. Antonio scratched the back of his head, laughing as well.

"Alright, alright. Calm down. Let's just choose a place." Antonio said, watching me glare down Gilbert one last time. Antonio tapped his chin with his free hand (his other hand was occupied by mine, I guess,) and pointed to a room on the second floor. "That one's empty. Come on. Wait, where's Francis?" he asked, looking around.

"I'm right here!" Came the silken voice of Francis. I shivered. Damn frenchie. "Will you allow me to join you?" He asked, walking closer to the four of us. I opened my mouth to decline, but was cut off my Gilbert, who accepted it like nobody's business. This trio of guys. I swear. It was going to kill me of how weirdly they worked to make others feel awkward. Maddie shuffled on her feet and shuddered. She was obviously cold, and no one was doing anything about it. Despite us being in a warm room. Well, I guess it's because we were right next to the constantly opening and closing door, but whatever.

"Whatever. Let's just go." I said, eager to end my friend from freezing on the spot. She nodded shakily, joining Gilbert and walking up the steps with us. Francis walked up the stairs slowly, all the way in the back. He had a distant look on his face, and didn't interact as much as he had before. I shrugged, turning to face the front and following Antonio. Good lord, I was so hungry. My stomach was having a war with itself. I could just hear it. It made my face turn red, and made me feel equally angry about it. Who the hell needs to know that I'm hungry besides me? That's right. No one. So shut up, stomach! We walked into the room. It was oddly lit, but in a good kind of way. There were lamps in the corners of the room, and grand windows. It felt nice, peaceful in a way. And one chandelier had given us the majority of the light. It hung in the middle of the room, right above the dark brown mahogany table. It was extended, and had a vase of roses in the middle. "How did they get roses? It's winter. Roses don't grow..." I mumbled, letting go of Antonio's hand. He gave me a goofy grin, making me turn into a red mess.

I shouldn't be so easily swayed by this little fucker. He had charm, I can give you that. But everyone looks for a boy with charm. If it even occurred that there could be an 'us', then I had practically shoved that dream out the damn window the moment I saw his eyes. All the females would swoon over them. I'm not part of that party. I chose a random chair, and sat next to Maddie, who seemed to be the most tolerable of the group. The others were just...weird. Francis took a spot that was parallel to Maddie, and Gilbert sat down on Maddie's right. Antonio sat across from me. Why was he in such plain view! Ugh. I don't even want to think about it anymore. There was an intercom system on the wall right next to Antonio. "...What do we do with it?" He asked, smiling sheepishly.

"Uh...I dunno. Just...click the button and start, right?" Gilbert asked, shrugging.

"Well, just try it, and see what happens." I said, looking down at the table. I bit the side of my lip. Maddie and Francis had begun to talk, but immediately silenced when there was a ringing noise that came from the intercom. All us of sat there like idiots, staring at it. "...Answer it, bastard." I huffed, relaxing in my chair. Antonio clicked the button, surprised when a woman's voice could be heard from the other end.

"Hello, good day. Please tell me how many people are with you, and I will send up your food." She said happily. Antonio blinked a few times.

"Um, Okay. Thanks. There are five of us." He answered, nodding. Francis raised an eyebrow.

"Thank you very much, Mr. Fernandez-Carriedo. I hope that you enjoy your meal!~" She cheerily said, hanging up. There was a moment of silence at the table. Maddie tilted her head.

"You...you never told her your name." she said. "Then how did she...?"

Francis shrugged. I did as well, facing the walls. Antonio smiled. "Lucky guess, maybe." he said, right as the door slowly creeped open, revealing a man and a woman pushing a cart into the room. Each had the same thing. Same outfit, same smile, same little quirks.

"Hello, Miss Vargas, Miss Williams-" the man smiled kindly.

"Mr. Bonnefoy, Mr. Beilschmidt, Mr. Fernandez-Carriedo. We will be your servers today-" The woman sang. She began setting plates in front of us. Her eyes were the color of strange, light brown. It matched perfectly with her straight, brown hair.

"-so please do not hesitate to call us if you need it." The man finished, putting cups in front of us and filling them with water.

"We will be very pleased to help you." The duo said in unison, creating the idea that they were mirror images of each other. "Thank you, and have a nice meal." They concluded, walking out of the room with their cart. Again, the room was left with awkward silence. No one moved at first. And I wasn't going to be the first to do it. I wasn't moving until someone else did. It's just the way that it goes, dammit.

Gilbert whistled. "That was really, really weird." he concluded, shuffling in his chair. Maddie nodded to him, obviously agreeing. Francis nodded as well, reaching for his cup of water and taking a sip.

"...Well, Let's eat." Antonio smiled, starting to take a bite of the meal. To my happiness, it was pasta with fresh tomatoes. I took a bite, swooning over the delicious taste. It was delicious and wonderful. The four other people at the table talked and ate, enjoying themselves fully. Even Maddie was being talkative. I sighed, eating and thinking, just wondering. What happened to me? And why am I here? Why did I bump into that son of a jerk anyways. I don't believe in fate or destiny. Those things are just in childhood stories. And after all that I've been through. After everything that I've done...I don't think I can remember it. I don't want to remember them. I sat in my little bubble of silence, nodding in agreement to a conversation once in a while, and giving out simple yes and no answers. The clouds outside rearranged themselves, forming even darker gray groups... I set my fork down, looking out sadly. "...Another thunderstorm..." I mumbled. Antonio tilted his head towards me, looking at me curiously. I noticed, and immediately looked away.

"What was that?" He asked. I sighed.

"There's going to be another thunderstorm." I said. I listened intently past all the conversation, through the soft music that played, listening for that rumble of thunder. That one noise that sparked so much unwanted memories. I shook my head, looking down into my lap. It isn't anything to worry about...I just want to get back. I looked back up, seeing Antonio shrug and look out the window as well. Nearly everyone had finished. They were just talking amongst themselves, like they were friends since forever. It's not true. I need to warn myself. No one is my friend yet. There isn't anyone here that I've known... Whatever. I can be fine by myself. Francis and Maddie slowly stood up, giving the rest of us the signal that lunch was over. This whole experience...It was like dinner more than lunch. I stood up after Gilbert and stretched my arms. An hour had passed by. But...But it didn't seem like that at all! I huffed, following the four people out the door. Antonio gave me a few smiles here and there, but I didn't take anything of it. I kept my head down, listening as hard as I could. I wanted to hear the thunder. Instead, I heard rain. "...Ah, there we go." I said, opening the large door, and meeting drizzling rain. It made indents on the ice that was once there. Little dips and cracks here and there along the surface. Students ran on the grass next to the pavement, causing mud and water to go flying everywhere. I sighed, breathing in the scent of the rain.

Through the chaos, Francis disappeared, along with Maddie and Gilbert, who were already making it back to the lobby. How much time had passed by? Had I not noticed? Antonio was tugging on my sleeve. His mouth was moving, but I couldn't hear anything. The only thing I could hear was the dripping of the rain. He blinked a few times, shaking my elbow and trying again. "Hello? Lovina?" He said, shaking my elbow again. I tilted my head, opening my mouth to speak, but got cut off by a bright flash of lightning. My eyes widened, and I stepped closer to him on impulse.

"Wh-What was that?" I asked, shaking my head. I was a bit surprised by the lightning. I must be disoriented. Damn, my head hurts. I looked at him quizzically. In the distance, there were voices and cool noises of violins, violas, cellos, and a bass. I'm getting way too distracted to even care anymore. I blinked, my eyelashes feeling clumped together because of the droplets jumping off of them. Antonio's mouth moved, but I couldn't hear over the thunder and the music. I shrugged it off, pulling my soaking uniform closer to my body. I shivered. It's fucking cold. I hate it.

Then and there. I felt some sort of spark. Not the kind of spark that people would appreciate at all.

Call it dramatic or not, but I swear that lightning hit the ground inches away from me. And it whispered words into my ears.

The music drowned it out. I couldn't explain it. I could feel my eyes widen.

" I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing. Roman Cavalry choirs are singing. Be my mirror my sword and shield. My missionaries in a foreign field.

For some reason I Can't explain. I know Saint Peter won't call my name

Never an honest word. And that was when I ruled the world."

I can't. I don't...

I don't remember anything.

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><p>OOOOHH. DID YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED THERE? ;D<p>

Ahem. Anyways, feel free to leave a comment. I love them lots and lots. OH- OH. AND I GOT FANART. (A long time ago. I just keep forgetting to post it. I'm sorry. ) right about here: http : / fav. me/ d4ibrhb

You know I love fanart. ;D Thank you for reading!


	9. A way of Rebirth

**I know that this chapter came way way way way late. sorry. ;u; BUT. I got the chapter out. It's really short, though. Happy Reading~**

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><p>'<em>Ah, what is this coldness? This recognition of bitter, wet snow? I don't remember if I was born into the world like this... like this fresh snow. Maybe I was rained down on where I came from? ….. Perhaps I'm imaginative. But this place feels familiar. It looks so familiar to me... a place of my birth... It's my own place. I know it. The lovely, dull, gray light, and the frosted white tips of trees. The stone pathways are familiar too. I...don't know why...'<em>I thought, looking around curiously. The wind blew crisp cold against my face, and numbed my nose. I looked at my hands with a strange feeling of belonging. This place felt welcoming, despite the very low temperature. My breath made clear, bubbles of frost in front of my very cold face, leaving me to think that it was probably early-middle winter. Winter. Ah. How I remember loving the frost, but not being able to feel that same way, when I was at home. Where was home anyways? I don't remember... I cracked my knuckles and blinked in the drowning gray light that I loved so much. There were gasps from a person next to me. There was a flash, and in a second, I looked back down at myself.

_'Was I always this tall? How old was I before? I don't remember. I look... like I'm twenty something. Was I always this old, I don't remember.' _I blinked in even more, and moved my stiff ankles until they popped, and turned around, only to meet a pair of sparkling green eyes, which were strikingly close to me. With all the voice I could muster up, I whispered "What are you doing here."

He looks so familiar as well. As if he had been a part of my memories. The ones that I couldn't just seem to remember. But It was only just the eyes...

"What do you mean?" He asked.

Ah, there it is. I recognized it. He was speaking Spanish? Why do I understand it so well? Perhaps I speak spanish too? I closed my eyes for a split second, but still saw that lovely color of green. But this time, it was together with the colors of red and white. Italian. Yes, that's it. I speak Italian. He must know Italian as well, if he can understand me. My chest throbbed painfully, and I bit my lip, taking a small step away from the man in front of me. This place- It makes me feel like I have some sort of possession to it. Like... It's mine. And I don't want anyone to intrude, or take it away. It feels important to me, and I don't understand why. Did he feel the same way? I shouldn't even ask. I could feel the tension on my face relax and create a blank, monotonous stare towards him. "I asked why you were here."

When he raised his eyebrows, oblivious, at me, I knew that my eyes must have narrowed slightly. He looked back at me innocently and ran a hand through his curly, brown hair. "I...I really don't know." He replied back. I hinted a teeny tiny lisp from him. It was that, or just the difference in language. I shrugged and folded my arms. I took a step forward, as if to turn away, and head back to wherever I was, but his hand rested on my shoulder. I turned around sharply, on instinct, and with a scowl on my face. "Hey, you look really familiar. Have we met before?"

I tilted my head and narrowed my eyes at him. He wasn't joking. Or at least, he didn't seem to be joking. I scoffed and folded my arms. I shrugged, and turned around, beginning to walk onto what seemed like a gleaming pathway of arches. I held my arms closer together, and felt the wind pass through my jacket. He shuffled his way in front of me and said quickly "No, really, we've met before."

I shoved him out of the way, and kept walking, mumbling "Spain, just get out of my fucking way for once."

_'Wait.'_

I turned around sharply to see the man staring at me with wide, green eyes. "You called me Spain."

_'God dammit, he noticed.' _

"Y-yeah. Sorry. Impulse."

"No, don't apologize. I think... I think that's my name."

"It's not your name, unless you so happen to be a country, you idiot."

_'Fuck, there's that feeling again.'_I thought, hearing the sky rumble with thunder. "But Roma, you can't just ignore it all like that." He said. I glared at him, and he covered his mouth. He looked just as confused as I was. "...What was that?" he asked me. I took a step back, and shrugged, looking at him with terrified eyes. He looked just as scared as I did.

"How the hell do you think I know?!" I asked, before a sharp pain shot through me. I opened my eyes and blinked rapidly.

There's so much blood. There are sounds of gunshots. There are splatters of blood, and torn flags. There are colors of bright pastel, and there are dresses of extreme vintage. There are masks and gondolas, and there are sounds of music playing again and again. There are glass vases, there are walls engraved with Latin words. There is a similar face, leaving with a brown haired stranger. There is an image of fire, and a blonde haired boy. There is raging and rushing waters, then there is ash. There is more blood and screaming, then there is him. I know it's him.

I recognize those pretty green eyes.

I blinked again, holding my head as if I were going crazy. I can see him again. He's looking at me with that same expression. "Spain." I mumble. Yes, It's him. I know it's him. I feel a special connection to him. What were all those images? I breathed shakily. _'Why do I even bother asking. I know what it is anyways. It's my history. It's history, and it is part of me. And he is too.' _I took a few steps towards him. "Spain, what are we doing here?" I asked, tilting my head. I stepped closer on actions that seems like I was being...controlled. I repeated the question easily, as the question rolled off my tongue yet again. "What are we doing here? Shouldn't we be back home?" I asked. _'I'm feeling so emotional. I have a strong connection to him, and my heart makes me feel like it's true. He's Spain, after all. Why wouldn't I love him?'_

_'God dammit, those aren't my thoughts!' _

I argued with myself. Suddenly I felt warm arms wrap around me. "Roma. Roma, we're back again! We're back again!" he said.

The Roma inside me began screaming "Yes! Yes, we're back!"

But I'm not Roma, am I?

Or is Roma and I one person?

Roma made her way through to my voice and said "Yes! Dear god, yes, we are." And she made me hug him back. I could feel myself slipping on the inside. I could feel my soul beginning to slip away. Like whoever this 'Roma' was, was beginning to steal my mind and leave me for dead. Tears ran down my face. I can feel it! I can feel the terror of it all! I can feel myself slipping, and I can see as the images blur further and further away from me. I drank in the horror, and screamed in my head. "How did we get back? I don't remember anything." I said. The words came out in my voice, but acted on its own. They acted as if they weren't mine. I blinked again, and found that the blurriness disappeared. It just left me with such crystal clear images. _'It's so fresh. Like the snow. There's so much snow... This makes me feel nostalgic. And I'm not entirely sure why.'_I thought, releasing my grip on the familiar stranger. He had his hands on my shoulders, and looked at me with such a joyful smile.

"I don't know. But at least we're back." He said. He looked so happy. So glad... Why don't I want to change that?

_'As Nations, we have to be strong. We can't be so emotional as we are now... That's not how it works. that's not how we get very far. I can't let this run my life. I won't be able to do it. Or else we'll crumble.' _I looked at the ground. "Just like last time..." I whispered.

Wait.

I look a step back, and scrunched my nose. "What the hell was all that?! Nations? We're not nations! We're people for fucks sake!" I said. This confusion is going to kill me! Why would I ever think that we were nations? 'Roma' Isn't even the name of a country. I put my hands on my head. I'm crying. Am I crying out of joy? I have so many questions. I looked towards the darkened, gray sky. I blink away the tears, and hug my jacket just a little bit closer. I must've looked stupid, staring in awe at the figures in the clouds. "Oh..." I whispered, as Spain began to look upwards as well. "I see it now." I mumbled. The figure was so beautiful. But I'm sure that we both saw it differently. The snow began to fall again, and it messed with the image. The figure didn't change, though. It just...blurred. Like my vision had. Maybe it would become crystal clear again.

Who knew what everyone else saw. But I think I saw a little piece of heaven, today. That's good enough of a sign for me. It might've been the whole reason I'm here. Hell, I'm positive it is, now. I glanced over at Antonio. He looked like he was thinking the same thing as I was. I know who I am now.

I am Lovina Vargas. And I am also Roma.


	10. Ignoring the Reset

**Late chapter as always. Sorry. I hope you enjoy it!**

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><p>'<em>Resetting... resetting... Everything seems to be resetting.'<em> I thought as I walked behind the older man. _'It's like when you reset a game. But only that I'm the one being reset. Does anyone else know about this? Does anyone else feel the same way? God, I don't know...'_ The person in front turned back to check on me, then continued walking, as if he knew the way. I knew he didn't. This is my place- my world. My own. How could he know so much about it. The moody clouds shuddered, sending another cold breeze against my face. After that scene that just happened, I don't know how to react anymore... I don't know what to expect! What would anyone expect. I looked around, thinking that something was missing. _'Yes. There were rose bushes all along this path. I remember those clearly.'_ I blinked slowly, and looked to either side of me. Gone. None were there. Only the plain white of snow, and gray, dim light of the sky. _'Is the sun even out? What time is it?' _I questioned myself again. "Oh, it's no use..." I mumbled into my scarf. Antonio turned around again, and tilted his head. _'Cute.'_

Wait. Cute? Why was I calling this guy cute?

"What was that, Lovina?" He asked me. His green, crystal-like eyes glimmered, as if he had been renewed.

"Nothing." I answered quickly. "It's nothing..."

I heard him sigh, and he turned back around, continuing to walk. However, his pace was slower than before. "You don't have to slow down for me, idiot."

"Sometimes, it's nicer to slow down."

I scoffed, and found myself scooting closer. "Let me tell you this so you understand it clearly." I began, wanting to give my full opinion on this. "I really don't remember who you are. But you're pretty damn weird. All I want is to get back to the building, and then you can leave me. Okay?"

_'But do you really want him to leave you?'_

"Whatever you say." He answered back, keeping his gaze, and his stupid smile facing forward. For a guy that just lost the majority of his memory and who is walking with a complete stranger, he sure is cheerful. That's kind of admirable. To other people, but not to me. It suddenly felt ten degrees colder, if that was even possible. It was frosty, snowing, windy, and gray. The deep grayness of the sky felt nice; it always seemed to calm me down. However, this time, it felt a little doting. As if the gray sky were waiting for me to say something, so that it could suddenly turn blue again. Blue, blue, blue, as it should be. I shrugged and folded the ends of my sleeves over my chilly numb fingertips. Nobody said a word. Not a single word, not a single thing was heard besides the whistling wind in my freezing ears. Nothing. To be honest, It made me really uncomfortable. As if I weren't used to the dark and lonely nothing to listen from.

When I was a kid, there wasn't anything _to _hear. Besides maybe crying and whimpering, from what I remember. There was nothing to feel, besides that line along my back that is starting to tingle now, that I started to think of it... But that's it. It's there, and then it's gone, swept away from me. It makes me nuts. Something happened. I remember it, but at the same time I don't. Or maybe it's just that I don't want to remember it at all. That could just simply be the case. Antonio and I trudged through the iciness, ignoring anything.

I tried to ignore everything. The whole purpose was to ignore everything, make it as if it never even happened. I don't want it to happen. Nobody would ever think about any of this happening. How would you feel, if you heard two names and couldn't recognize which one was your own. It's a terrible feeling! I looked down at my feet. My ankles were freezing. I couldn't even tell that I was moving my feet. My gaze traveled back up to the sky. The beautiful figure was there again. It glistened and glowed. It told me just what I needed to know... it told me to _trust _what was going on. To trust it. I don't want to trust something that I don't know about. But right now, it seems necessary. For me. And for the group of people here, somehow.

I tried to ignore the tingling on my back. Maybe it meant more than an emotional scar from whatever my past was. I thought and thought and thought to myself that it would leave. I was overjoyed to believe that it wouldn't be there! That the new 'person' this "Roma" in my head, would take that memory and sweep it away from me. Or at least, I begged her to do so. Some things just couldn't be forgotten.

I tried to ignore the strange atmosphere between the Spanish guy and I. I felt like we were supposed to feel comfortable together. At least, Roma, she tried to explain it to me, very slowly. Her words just come out as random murmurs to me. Maybe he is experiencing the same thing. That's why we are both silent and secluded and awkward right now. Antonio was now walking at my side. His eyes looked a little clouded over, as if he were thinking deeply about something. Or listening to someone who was speaking to him. As I do as well. Turning my head back to the front, images flashed in my mind again, and the figure in the clouds frowned deeply. The figure sent wind my way. It brushed back my hair and threatened me dangerously. It took away those figures again. Or maybe I just ignored the figures.

I tried to ignore how empty I was feeling. Or how I currently am feeling. Something belongs there. It belongs inside me, normally and now it feels like it's... gone. Like I'm colder than I ever was, despite the already damn cold weather. "It's really cold out." Antonio said, as if to add on to my worry. This time, I did not ignore it.

"Of course. It's winter." I answered back.

"Then we must be pretty North for it to be this cold, don't you think?" The guy pondered, continuing to speak. I chose not to listen anymore. 'Roma' was speaking to me again, and I didn't want to make her mad. Or, I didn't want to make 'me' mad. If that's even possible.

"Whatever." I answered, after he had finished speaking. "It's cold, we're north. It'll be fine once Spring comes around. Just be patient until then." I ended with a frown. Spring is quite a distance away.

I ignored what else he had to say. It was something that involved the clouds, and an old folktale that he heard about over at his place.

I ignored what Roma had to say as well. I just wanted to focus on myself. To give myself some time to think, after a long time of constantly listening to others.

But I couldn't ignore what I saw in the sky those minutes ago.

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><p><strong>Gosh, that was short, wasn't it? Well, it was needed. Tell me what you thought of it! c: Happy Reading~<strong>


	11. Roma

**Wow. hasn't it just been such a long time? About a year, actually. My grand apologies. I'll be picking up my stories soon enough, and I might be taking some down to edit and replace with better content. This is told from Roma's point of view. Please enjoy.**

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><p><em>Once upon a time, some important figure in my life told me that I could be grand. They told me that one day, I'd rule over all these magnificent people- that I'd be showered with gold and candies and I'd be worshiped all around. He told me that I'd be happy and that people would appreciate me for the grand person that I was. I was told that I'd be a queen someday. I was told that one day, I'd be able to stand on top of the world and be happy- that it was the only thing that I needed to keep on living. All I needed… all I needed was a beating heart. One that beat with such passion and emotion and dignity. Yet here I am… I'm just a small ghost of a person. I'm hidden and trying to make myself visible again. What has happened to my glorious land? To my great hills and beaches, bordering the Mediterranean Sea? What has happened to my sister, to all the other nations, to the legacy that we've left in our wake? <em>

_How am I supposed to switch? I represent my country, my so called 'palace' and I'm alive enough to do it. _

_This young girl._

_Oh this poor young girl. She questions things so much! I feel like ripping my own throat out, if she continued to sass back to me in the way she did. But that's the fire that keeps the people as passionate and aware as they are. Lovina represents the people of my land, and what we need to do… somehow… is to switch places. Our souls, at least. She needs to be the voice in my head, and I need to be the physical representation. We work hand in hand, and yet we're stuck. Oh, we're stuck, god dammit, and we can't do anything about it!_

_Maybe she can sing again. It drew me to finding her, anyways. The voice. _

_I don't remember what my own voice sounded like before. But I know that she and I must have been similar in a way. In lots of ways. Theoretically, we are both the same person, yet we are souls which have been split._

_And Spain. Oh, Spain._

_Once upon a time, I had been lied to. I had been pushed around so many times that I forgot who I even was, and I acted out of my own will. I became bitter and rude to people. So very unladylike, they'd say, and they'd yell at me to control myself. I don't want to. I don't plan on it. In the days continuing, I grew more and more bitter, and I grew more and more agitated and I forced myself away. Where did my sister go? I had no idea. What was I doing? Well, I was moping to myself. How stupid I was. So damn stupid. There's no going back now, though. _

_Once upon a time, when I was feeling at my worst and when I was feeling like I wanted to just give up, I met some stranger with kind, green eyes. _

_That's the only part I really remember about him. His eyes made me feel calm, and I didn't act so rude to him. And looking through Lovina's eyes, I could see that those emerald eyes were still the same. They were full of hope, curiosity, and just some bit of mischievousness. I knew though, he was the biggest dork that I could ever meet. And I just _had_ to take over Lovina for a moment, to see him again, and when I heard him talk, just….fuck. I can't think of it any more. I was saved from a bad end in my life, and soon, I'll be able to be with him all over again. _

_It's relief to me._

_It sounds so selfish._

_But I need to switch places. I can't just be a subconscious thought any more. By accepting her fears and letting me take over, Lovina can make herself immortal, and I'll be able to be a nation once again._

_It's hard._

_But I'll do it._

_Once upon a time, someone told me that I'd be a phoenix- that I'd die and be reborn._

_And here I am._


End file.
